Gracegirl

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Pointless or Purposed?

Well, this continues my posting streak. I'm gonna see how long I can keep it going! :) But honestly, I've had so many things on my mind that I've started keeping a notebook of future blog topics, because I haven't been able to keep up.

At the women's retreat, in discussion time, I shared that this was the perfect year for Pastor Sean to be going through Ecclesiastes (at least, the perfect year from my point of view). I've been working in so many that seem to have no point at all. The majority of my studies this year are required to get into college but don't seem to have much bearing on my everyday life. Maybe they will, but I don't see it. And I remember clearly working through this feeling while I was studying for my SAT. I thought, "This has no visible impact whatsoever! It doesn't seem like this benefits life in any way." I ended up taking the SAT three times, studying like a maniac each time. The third time I took it because I only needed to increase my score by ten points to be eligible for a jump in scholarships at Master's. (I was fully eligible for one, but the next bracket would be an extra $1500 a year.) And then came the ACT. I'm not even sure why I took the ACT, looking back, except that I hadn't received my third SAT score by the time I had to register for the ACT, and Master's will take the equivalent ACT score. So really, looking back, taking that was kind of funny. It was yet another "Why am I doing this?" situation. And then came the end of the year test, which is basically a formality. I have to take it to be lawful as a homeschooler in our state. But man, I'd taken my other tests, I knew where I was at, and all I was happy with it. And the only thing that seems purposeful normally in taking it, other than being a law-abiding citizen, is that you can tailor next year's curriculum to work on your weak points. But since I won't be tailoring any curriculum from now on, that was a bit of a moot point. So anyway, this year has been filled with all sorts of odd challenges as to whether I trust that God has me where He wants me, and whether I can be content and find joy in that. But I've really learned that lesson now! And I know that it's something you face constantly in life, finding joy in what seems to be pointless, but may be God's purpose for you, at least at that point in your life.

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