Saturday, August 16, 2008

Late Night Thoughts

Late last night, I was up buzzing from a late night shift at Red Robin, even though it was likely I would be working today (which I did). I love writing when I'm trying to unwind, so I decided to just start recording the thoughts bumping around in my head. This is what came from it:

So it's one in the morning, but I keep thinking. And I'm wordy right now, so I pretty much can't help but write.

Things pour through my mind though I'm chipping away at a headache and foot strain after a particularly long and difficult shift. As I sit here, I think:

I love my job. I'm so thankful it's not normally like tonight. Praise God.

And praise God for his work in my life. Satan is constantly trying to tempt God's people. God uses any number of things to combat it. I'm just thankful that He watches out for His people.

I have so many things to do before I leave. And so many emotions pulse through each day. I feel so alive--trying to take in every nostalgic moment before it's gone. I will deeply miss my family, as always. They are so kind to me. My Mom made me my favorite: layered carrot cake, complete with cream cheese frosting. She wanted to make sure I had a family birthday celebration, even though it's not my birthday yet.

Goodbyes are never easy. Well, I can't say that. Haha--I guess sometimes people are glad to say goodbye. I'm blessed to be able to say it's hard. I love my family so much. I love my church body and am so thankful for them. Wonderful Pastor Ken emailed me today. It was a sweet message, offering prayer and asking for it too. He attached a resource on some things I've been thinking about. He's so faithful to remember what I talk to him about, and for that I am very thankful. I love my friends here in the area. Though I have remarkably more peers when I go to school, my friends here are so varied and unique. I've enjoyed everything from touring Seattle and basking in the fellowship and fun of it, to picking cherries impromptu on the back of a tractor and watching Dan in Real Life outside into the wee hours of the morning while eating a fudgecicle. I'm thankful for my job. I can't say how amazing it is that I work there. They just happened to open and hire me straight as a server. I honestly see God's hand in that, now that I am rehired as a server and able to come back in December. There are so many lessons to be had and challenges to be conqured in my work. But God is directing me in all of this to a new season. A different, beautiful season of school.

I'm blessed by people. God really does show His love through people. That's something that has become so clear to me throughout the past year. I've always been a social person. I've even been called a "social butterfly"--you know who you are! :) I think this is partially the natural bent I have, but also it's due to the beautiful, wonderful, amazingly fantastic people that I come into contact with. I really am so blessed to have wonderful people on both sides of the plane ride, people to miss wherever I am. I have a feeling I will enjoy those blessings of friendship quite often, rooming with my dear friend Beckie and making it a point to visit with others. Truly, it is God who ultimately surpasses even the beauty of all this. But I lead a blessed, wonderful life.

I'm excited and saddened by all the changes happening this year. I've never been one to like change. But boy, I'm getting more used to it! Life seems to be constantly changing at this stage. My dear friends Haley & Erica will not be returning to my school, and it broke my heart initally. But I am SO thrilled to see God leading them on the path He's made for their lives. This year brings many changes, mainly for various friends, but ultimately, they all seem to be very good ones. I'm excited for them all, though at times I want to yell out like Jo March: "Why can't things just stay as they were?!"

I am eager to see what God will teach me this year. It's such an interesting year full of plans and preparations, but ultimately, He is the one who directs our steps. My prayer is that I would seek His kingdom, His righteousness. He can figure out the rest.