Gracegirl

|chapters|in|the|book|of|my|life

2009-08-28T00:30:00.000-07:00

at this point, i can't decide whether to start a new blog entirely, or just continue to chronicle this semester in Israel here instead. i'm leaning toward the latter--mostly out of laziness. also because life just continues on. chapters are still part of the same book, y'know? they're just... chapters.

a chapter late at night, written two weeks ago: i'm writing this late at night, still a couple days before i fly down to surprise Andrew for his birthday. i'm pretty stoked. also pretty tired from tonight's shift. they've worked me pretty hard this week--i'm looking forward to just shopping & packing tomorrow, and hanging with the fam. of course, that's not the story i gave Andrew tonight. i said i might try to pick up a shift. (but that would be a little silly when i've requested the day off. ha.) i should end this late night chapter soon... i don't want the next chapter to be cranky & sleep-deprived. but a few thoughts first (i know, it kind of can wait--i'm planning on posting this in a couple days to avoid a spoiler. :D)

my life seems to have a lot of chapters. i think it's particularly so while living life between two states, having two homes, two churches, two sets of friends, two lifestyles really. this summer has been a very eclectic chapter--lots of different people, goals, and experiences. this next semester will be a very unique chapter, i'm sure. 29 other people who i'll know so much better by the time we all see Dec. 13th roll around. lots of different locations that will become ours--not just a funny place we try to pronounce every time we read about it in our Bibles. lots of memories and stories, important and interesting mainly to us. i hope this semester's chapter is even more than that, though. i want it to ignite a fire that burns throughout the pages of this book of my life--a fire to love the God of that land, the God of my heart. i want it to be more than a cool semester studying abroad. yes, i'm all about getting incredible pics with incredible people in incredible places doing incredible things. but there's more than that. if it doesn't direct us to God, it's a waste, a sorry waste. really, every day and in every chapter, that's the case. each circumstance and opportunity should be powerfully useful. we should live purposeful lives, and i'm afraid i often don't. it's a paralyzing reality--what have i done with the things i've been given? is it "good and faithful servant" ahead, or "depart from Me; I never knew you."?

these are weighty issues, my friend.

The Reality of the Gospel

2009-06-25T16:16:00.000-07:00

"We think that just because we're safe, hell isn't a burden." This from my Mother, in discussing how many people have expressed amusement at the recent death of Michael Jackson. I don't know, I guess I just find it really disconcerting that while we mourn grandparents who never came to the knowledge of the truth, we will laugh about a man who spent his life buying into lies that Satan propelled toward him all his years on earth.

What is funny about a life spent and wasted?
What is funny about the eternal consequences of sin?
What is funny about a man who never encountered true joy, peace, and love?
What is funny about a man eternally separated from his Creator?

Yet, I also at times forget about sin and hell and death. I am just as capable of finding sin funny and saying things in bad taste.

Bryan Chapell's Holiness By Grace has been reminding me of this truth lately. Though I sin, others do too. This truth keeps me from becoming defeated, thinking I am all alone in the life of faith. It also is humbling, keeping me from thinking that others' sins or wrong responses are theirs alone. I am just as capable of sin and stumbling, of warped thinking or wrong perspective.

Just thoughts. But they're practical thoughts. They lead me back to the cross, back to the gospel. Because I need Christ's sacrifice just as much as anyone.

post.session

2009-05-13T01:07:00.000-07:00

It's strangely silent here in Slight 17, aside from the buzz of my computer which keeps warning me that its days might be quite shortly numbered. That silence may be due to the close proximity to the 1 am hour, considering also the 8 am classes some of my roommates are a part of. It's post session here at The Master's College, also known as the time most people have moved out, while 50 students rapidly work their way to 3-6 units, two weeks at a time. Gone is that last day I'll ever see some people--oh how I hate that part of graduation. I really hate goodbyes, so last week was pretty significantly unfun--particularly when coupled with finals.

The heat of the Santa Clarita summer sun bakes down on us. Even the winds whirl warmth in every direction. It is in this heat that we grill quesadillas over open flame at 10 pm for dinner, or make hot cocoa over bunson burners, in numerous desperate attempts to make use of food already on hand, and a desire to avoid going out to eat costly food that will only serve to make us fatter than we found ourselves at the end of a long, unhealthy semester.

A couple of us are considering dumpster diving after hours at a local beloved store, as we've heard they sometimes toss wonderful food that isn't fit to be sold (past date) but is still fine to eat. We've pooled resources--sharing milk and the like. We've kiped toaster ovens and microwaves no longer in use from unoccupied areas of the campus. I feel very much like Templeton from Charlotte's Web at times, so ready to scrounge any last beneficial bit from any corner. It's not like we're starving. Just bored and somewhat budgeted.

Conversations range from the dichotomist and trichotomist views of man to vegetarianism to the weird water in this dorm to cute dresses. Weekend plans seem even more significant, in light of the imminent approach of flights home, coupled with the reality of unending homework and unchanging scenery. Everyone seems desperate for some form of diversion, but desperate to avoid any such thing. A restlessly relentless distracted focus seems to have settled upon us all...

.ah post session.

i swear

2009-04-25T01:05:00.001-07:00

ironic. as we pulled back into the school, we discussed change, the Church, and the gospel. the song switched to "waiting on the world to change" by john mayer.

i could've sworn the world isn't going to change for the better.

i could've sworn the gospel is more important than... oh, anything.

i could've sworn fellowship is pretty much one of the most seriously encouraging things you can imagine on a friday night.

this is really random and not super specific. but suffice it to say, we really have the one solution for all of mankind. we keep it to ourselves way too often.

the department

2009-02-12T23:43:00.000-08:00

sisters laughing

aromas wafting

hours fly by

and we hardly realize it

friends coming

flavors pleasing

conversation is enjoyed

and we love it

the family made by studies

enjoying time, enjoying the practice

of lessons learned and memories made

The Chief End...Glorify Him Forever.

2009-02-12T21:56:00.000-08:00

Death has really come to life for me lately. The testimony of the death of a friend, Andrew Mark, has really spoken to my soul as I've pondered and prayed for him and his family. Do pray for his wife if you would. I've told some of you about this, but some I haven't. He was 27, and I used to babysit for him and his wife regularly. I wrote out some of their love story from her old journals. I knew their testimonies. I constantly saw Christ's love for His Church as I saw them interact. I held their children in my arms, prayed through the cancer diagnosis with them at our Sunday School table every week, discussed God's sovereignty, discussed infant sleep schedules, ate with them, marvelled at how wonderful they were, did my homework on their couch til they came back from dinner out. And now he's gone. And now he's freed from pain. Because he doesn't have to worry about his cancer spreading, he doesn't have to feel the wound on his neck, he doesn't have to undergo horrid radiation. He doesn't have to fear the valley of the shadow. Our God saves. I just want to say that right now. And I think it's so odd how I can believe the Gospel and still be so sorrowful when a friend is closing his eyes and walking into glory. The last days he was on this earth, suffering in a hospital, it was always on my mind and in my prayers. And then once I knew he was freed, it was like the weight of the world had lifted and I could see it for what it really was. Heaven is real! Christ is on His throne, and Andrew Mark is now able to see Him and worship Him in a glorified state! That's something intensely amazing. I haven't had a lot of experience with death from this perspective. Most of the death I've seen was during my childhood, and I didn't know how to grieve, let alone rejoice in it. Thank God He reveals the truth to His children. He is so good to us. And I'm beginning--just beginning--to realize how it all fits into God being good to Himself. He is so far beyond our understanding of His glory, but He delights to make Himself known as much as we can understand Him, because He gives us the best--He gives us Himself. That's ultimately the most exciting end we could possibly face.

My Thoughts Right Now (that don't really matter...)

2009-01-27T23:30:00.000-08:00

I realized tonight that I have readings in 6 books due on Thursday. Plus other homework.
My roomie's desperately trying to get to sleep despite some unintentional caffeine and a cold. I hope she succeeds, poor Beck.
Exciting to think it might be possible to finish school next year after all. Just went to the Registrar's yesterday, and made myself a pretty crazy strict plan of action. Can't wait to see if it'll work. Being at IBEX in the Fall will be totally worth the nutty Summer schedule.
It's cold back home. Colder than here. And while I hate the chill in the air (I get wimpier with every semester I live in SoCal), it sounds good to be home and give em all a hug. Not really homesick, I just love them.
I like the challenges and blessings involved in homework. Sometimes it forces you to slow down, and sometimes it forces you to get up and do something productive. Interesting how that works.
I'm working on my thesis this semester. Not really joking. I'll actually have my undergraduate thesis completed by the end of this semester, Lord willing. At first, I was scared out of my mind. But through Tat's workshop on the topic of Adoption, and the suggestion of a friend, I'm really stoked about this class, because it will provide me with a forum to research something I want to learn about anyway: Adoption & Foster Care.
There have been so many good things spoken into my life lately. College students are selfish. We really are--all our lives are so centered around ourselves (sometimes by necessity, often by choice). We have people cleaning our bathrooms, people cooking our food, and people consistently pouring into our lives. We're crazy blessed, but we can easily think it's all about us and that we deserve it. Not so, little 21 year old... not so. Interesting to see I've bought into the lie. This whole post is kind of. basically. pretty much. completely. all about me. Oh grow up, Kate.
God is enormous. But I was just challenged at dinner (by someone pretty wonderful) that we often don't believe what we believe. We don't take our beliefs and realize that they're true. So is God enormous? Is He big enough that I don't have to worry about financial aid? Is He big enough that I can trust even through the late nights, that He's working it all out to somehow glorify Him and bring me good (whatever that looks like)? Is He enormous enough to deserve our uncomplaining, humble, patiently faithful service? Yeah. Though, I must say, often I really don't dish that out. Sometimes it looks like a whiny, thinly veiled false humility that really just wants her own way. right now. But God is really working. I'm confident of that. He's too gracious to forget about completing His work here in me.
I'm excited to be seeing Him work in this campus too. Sure, there are sad things you hear. And the more time you spend with people, the more you see their sin. But it's good to see sin so you can all work on it together. Up close and a little too personal for comfort sometimes. I'm blessed and encouraged and also a little wary and fearful at the progress and lack of progress I see in others. But hey, that's where my walk is too at times. "And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all."--1 Thessalonians 5:14 I'm glad Scripture directs us.
I don't want to stop writing. It's in my system and I can't stop. But I need to. I have a lot of reading to do. So for now, thanks for reading. goodnight...

Designed for Glory

2009-01-24T21:58:00.000-08:00

Tonight I have about 40 years of homework to complete, but this little paragraph in my Interior Environments textbook made me so excited, I have to share it.

"The following guidelines can help the beginning designer develop a discriminating eye for quality design ... Objects in nature should be carefully observed. Their play of light and shadow, their shape, texture, pattern, and color are fine examples of design."

That made me stop and take a double take. Really? A secular textbook recognizes that:
1) Nature reflects design.
2) Natural design is excellent.
3) Natural design is so excellent, in fact, that we should go to it to learn excellence in all design.

Wow. And how often do I gloss over the fact that the natural world, designed and created by my supernatural God, is there to proclaim His name? As I whine about the heat or the cold, as I tread over fallen leaves, smell the fragrance of the roses, am I deeply and utterly aware of the decibel at which these things shout the glory of their Maker?

Also, another thought: even an unbelieving textbook writer can recognize that we must turn to God to do things excellently. We are dependent on Him for anything good we wish to do. How then, do we learn from Him? By patiently sitting under His lessons. By studying His revelation of Himself. By learning from His beauty about His greatness, and trusting Him for every area of life.

We can--and should--endeavor to seek these things. However, we will never be perfect in them as our Heavenly Father is. How beautiful glory will be when we stand before Him and realize that all we've studied, all we've imagined about Him, is a faint and distant--almost laughable--representation of this intensely magnificent Creator.

So these, dear friends, are the things I'm considering as I go about my homework. No wonder it's taking me so long. But why would I want to speed it up? I mean, really. :)

Books I Recommend!

2009-01-09T23:26:00.001-08:00

Some books I'll be reading this semester for classes--you may want to check them out!

Shepherding a Child's Heart, by Tedd Tripp
The Way They Learn, by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias
Practicing hospitality: The joy of serving others, by Pat Ennis & Lisa Tatlock
The hospitality commands, by Alexander Strauch

A few I've read for other classes and highly recommend:
Debt-Proof Living, by Mary Hunt
Shopping for Time, by Carolyn Mahaney (and daughters)
Becoming a Titus 2 Woman, by Martha Peace
Disciplines of a Godly Woman, by Barbara Hughes
Lies Women Believe, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Second Advent

2008-12-16T01:14:00.000-08:00

“On this side of eternity, Christmas is still a promise. Yes, the Savior has come, and with him peace on earth, but the story is not finished. Yes, there is peace in our hearts, but we long for peace in our world.Every Christmas is still ‘a turning of the page’ until Jesus returns. Every December 25 marks another year that draws us closer to the fulfillment of the ages, that draws us closer to . . . home.When we realize that Jesus is the answer to our deepest longing, even Christmas longings, each Advent brings us closer to his glorious return to earth. When we see him as he is, King of kings and Lord of lords, that will be ‘Christmas’ indeed!”

- Joni Eareckson Tada, “A Christmas Longing” in Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus ed. by Nancy Guthrie (Wheaton, Ill.: Crossway Books, 2008), 137.

Voices & Choices

2008-12-13T23:54:00.000-08:00

I'm in the lounge tonight. I just heard a quote from a movie people are watching--I think it's Enchanted. Anyway. A line stuck out to me:

"Hello worthless. Miss me?"

I think that's like our sin, honestly. It treats us terribly, but we keep thinking it's worth going back for more. Our selfish, proud nature never serves us well. It leaves us broken, worthless... feeling incapable and stained by the very thing that keeps us from God.

Why do we go back?

I think it's because we refuse to hear the tender voice of God that speaks the opposite of our sin:

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

"Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you."

"I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness."

"Choose this day whom you will serve"

Hidden Riches

2008-11-25T16:00:00.000-08:00

I just read an article on the topic of poverty for one of my Home Ec classes.

This astonished me:

In 1999, the UN Development Program estimated that the world's three wealthiest individuals had more assets than did the 600 million people who live in the poorest nations. Yet, a mere 4% of the wealth of the 225 richest individuals would be sufficient to provide elementary education, medical facilities, and adequate nutrition for people in poverty in the world (Held & McGrew, 2000).

I can't even wrap my mind around that.

I could say how our wealth in salvation and reluctance to witness to a spiritually starving and impoverished world reflect an even more ugly truth, but I won't. Wouldn't want to offend the rich or convict myself now, would I?

Prosperity vs. Poverty

2008-11-15T23:57:00.000-08:00

Just a smidge from a homework assignment I'm working on--a worksheet on Financial Responsibility for one of my Home Ec classes. The following question got me thinking and praising:

Do you feel prosperity or poverty is more spiritually helpful?
This may be the “easy answer,” and I could be wrong, but I really do believe (from experience & observation) that poverty is more spiritually helpful. You learn what it means to truly sacrifice. You learn that the Lord can see you through anything. You learn to pray and wait. You learn that people can have the spiritual gift of giving and practice it even when they have absolutely nothing. You learn that when it would never humanly make sense for you go to college, you’re going, God’s providing, and you couldn’t be more thankful. You learn a lot of spiritual lessons, let me tell you...

Lyrics and Thoughts

2008-09-28T15:18:00.000-07:00

I wanted to take a brief moment to share some lyrics discovered, and some thoughts considered:

On Friday we had Dorm Chapel--specifically, Dixon Chapel. One of the songs, "Unashamed" was somewhat new to me (I feel like I may have heard it once before). The chorus and last verse were particularly striking:

And I know I'm weak,
I know I'm unworthy
To call upon Your name.
But because of grace,
Because of your mercy
I stand here unashamed.

I can't explain this kind of love.
I'm humbled and amazed,
That You'd come down
From heavens heights
And greet me face to face.

Here I am at Your feet,
In my brokenness complete.

Later in Chapel, my fabulous RD Beth Catron shared her testimony and challenged us to practically live out the glory of God, not simply thinking of it as some nebulous way to live for God, but thinking about God's glory as the sum total of His attributes. If we really believe He is beautiful and holy and pure and patient and merciful, we will live reflecting His character. That was strikingly practical, and a really good reminder for me. In a way, it's very basic, and in a way, I think I'll still need the reminder when I'm 85.

Similarly, Pastor Scotty preached a timeless message this morning about trusting God and seeing Christ as sufficient in every circumstance. It was based out of Mark 8:14-21, where the disciples had just witnessed the Lord provide for 4,000 people, but had forgotten to bring bread along on the boat with them. Pastor Scotty asked us all: "Are you quibbling about bread while you are in the boat with the Breadmaker?" What anxieties are cutting through your faith? Let Christ assure you, He will care for you. He always has.
Pastor left us with a quote by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I didn't get the specific quote, but I have the idea: There is only one place where all is right--at the feet of Jesus.

Late Night Thoughts

2008-08-16T18:09:00.001-07:00

Late last night, I was up buzzing from a late night shift at Red Robin, even though it was likely I would be working today (which I did). I love writing when I'm trying to unwind, so I decided to just start recording the thoughts bumping around in my head. This is what came from it:

So it's one in the morning, but I keep thinking. And I'm wordy right now, so I pretty much can't help but write.

Things pour through my mind though I'm chipping away at a headache and foot strain after a particularly long and difficult shift. As I sit here, I think:

I love my job. I'm so thankful it's not normally like tonight. Praise God.

And praise God for his work in my life. Satan is constantly trying to tempt God's people. God uses any number of things to combat it. I'm just thankful that He watches out for His people.

I have so many things to do before I leave. And so many emotions pulse through each day. I feel so alive--trying to take in every nostalgic moment before it's gone. I will deeply miss my family, as always. They are so kind to me. My Mom made me my favorite: layered carrot cake, complete with cream cheese frosting. She wanted to make sure I had a family birthday celebration, even though it's not my birthday yet.

Goodbyes are never easy. Well, I can't say that. Haha--I guess sometimes people are glad to say goodbye. I'm blessed to be able to say it's hard. I love my family so much. I love my church body and am so thankful for them. Wonderful Pastor Ken emailed me today. It was a sweet message, offering prayer and asking for it too. He attached a resource on some things I've been thinking about. He's so faithful to remember what I talk to him about, and for that I am very thankful. I love my friends here in the area. Though I have remarkably more peers when I go to school, my friends here are so varied and unique. I've enjoyed everything from touring Seattle and basking in the fellowship and fun of it, to picking cherries impromptu on the back of a tractor and watching Dan in Real Life outside into the wee hours of the morning while eating a fudgecicle. I'm thankful for my job. I can't say how amazing it is that I work there. They just happened to open and hire me straight as a server. I honestly see God's hand in that, now that I am rehired as a server and able to come back in December. There are so many lessons to be had and challenges to be conqured in my work. But God is directing me in all of this to a new season. A different, beautiful season of school.

I'm blessed by people. God really does show His love through people. That's something that has become so clear to me throughout the past year. I've always been a social person. I've even been called a "social butterfly"--you know who you are! :) I think this is partially the natural bent I have, but also it's due to the beautiful, wonderful, amazingly fantastic people that I come into contact with. I really am so blessed to have wonderful people on both sides of the plane ride, people to miss wherever I am. I have a feeling I will enjoy those blessings of friendship quite often, rooming with my dear friend Beckie and making it a point to visit with others. Truly, it is God who ultimately surpasses even the beauty of all this. But I lead a blessed, wonderful life.

I'm excited and saddened by all the changes happening this year. I've never been one to like change. But boy, I'm getting more used to it! Life seems to be constantly changing at this stage. My dear friends Haley & Erica will not be returning to my school, and it broke my heart initally. But I am SO thrilled to see God leading them on the path He's made for their lives. This year brings many changes, mainly for various friends, but ultimately, they all seem to be very good ones. I'm excited for them all, though at times I want to yell out like Jo March: "Why can't things just stay as they were?!"

I am eager to see what God will teach me this year. It's such an interesting year full of plans and preparations, but ultimately, He is the one who directs our steps. My prayer is that I would seek His kingdom, His righteousness. He can figure out the rest.

Wisdom

2008-07-11T13:26:00.000-07:00

I found this quotation on my Gmail Quote of the Day.
An interesting contrast of Scripture and the secular worldview:

"The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand."--Frank Herbert

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; fools despise wisdom and instruction"--Proverbs 1:7

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding."--Proverbs 9:10

"And me in my bare feet." "I like you in your bare feet!" "Well, it puts a woman at a disadvantage..."

2008-06-21T22:54:00.000-07:00

The old version of The Parent Trap--the one with Haley Mills and Maureen O'Hara--is on tonight, and it's gotten to one of my favorite scenes. It's toward the end where the father & mother are falling in love again. I remember watching it once with Mom. She surprised me by saying, "You know, I think this has to be one of the most romantic scenes in movie history." I had to agree with her though. It's so sweet and so terribly romantic.

Accordion Awareness Month

2008-06-12T23:56:00.000-07:00

A short while ago, one of my very well-informed friends notified all his Facebook friends (via status) of Accordion Awareness Month. However, when he first informed us of this, I believed he was speaking of May being Accordion Awareness Month. This made me quite downcast (in fact, I believe my words at the time amounted to "enraged!"), seeing as May was almost over. How could I properly celebrate this important occasion on such short notice?!

I was elated, however, when I received his reply that Accordion Awareness Month actually occurs in June. This was my reply: "I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear that. Thank you for the reassurance. June will truly be a blessed month!"

But it got better. "How," you ask, "can it possibly get any better than that?" I know--trust me, I know. It seems beyond improvement. But trust me.

That very moment that I replied to him, as I notified my Mom about this joyful discovery, she told me that my pastor--yes, my very own pastor, Ken Crandall, knows how to play the accordion! With this knowledge, I was fully equipped to begin celebrating Accordion Awareness Month.

UPDATE:

I sent this post to Pastor Ken, and here was his entertaining reply:

not only do I play the accordion, i even have dreams about playing it once every ten years or so. the reoccurring dream is that i am about 9 years old and in my bedroom practicing for my usual half hour (which partially explains my incompetence, the other being that i have absolutely no music ability) and about half way through (that's 15 minutes) i take advantage of the open window to make my escape and go play underground pirates with my neighbor friends (we had dug tunnels under our backyard fences to connect in one cave like cavern in one of the neighbors yards!) well anyway, as I was exiting my bedroom, i fall and just keep falling. usually about that time i wake up in a cold sweat, thankful that i gave my accordion away years ago. however, this was not before i attempted to sell it and discovered that what my parents paid $1,000 for i could only now get maybe $25 for. talk about accordian depreciation. nevertheless, accordion appreciation month is still very meaningful to me because it eliminated one direction of life that i would not follow. no irish rock groups for me! so thanks for the memories and sweet dreams. pk

The Many Sides of Katie Abbott

2008-05-29T12:08:00.000-07:00

Just to be weird (as if that's a struggle), I thought I'd google Katie Abbott and see what it came up with. I've done this before, but generally to see where this blog placed. This time, I was looking for other Katie Abbotts. Quite an interesting array, I must say. Here's what it came up with:

A Katherine Abbott M.F.A., who has worked around the world (the Netherlands, Singapore, Ghana, etc.) as a trainer. She has her Masters in Modern Dance, which makes me happy--at least one of us gets to dance.
There was a Katie Abbott marrying a Mike Harris. Apparently, they're very well traveled as well--Africa, Italy, St. Lucia, etc.
There was a craft services member for various movies. I've actually thought about doing this. It wouldn't be a bad match, considering my degree. Craft services, according to Wikipedia, works with all the departments working on a film, and provides snacks for cast & crew, among other things.
This Katie Abbott fascinated me. She's an English lady who does woodworking. She makes some lovely pieces, apparently.
There is a Katie Abbott who works as Director of Admissions at Marylhurst University, near Portland, Oregon. Couldn't find much more on her, but found that fairly interesting, as I do like Portland.
There's a Louisville Pediatrician who has a chinchilla named Truman.
Before today, I had no idea that there was a park with my name, but apparently there is, on Malthusian Way in Mahtomedi Minnesota. Who knew?
Lastly, I found a tribute to a Katie who passed away last month. She was wheelchair-bound, incapable of doing many of the things that we often take for granted. But she had Christ. And above all the other impressive Katies that I came across today, I found it fitting that God reminded me that only one thing counts when you come to the end of your days--your relationship with Him.

Update

2008-04-17T20:15:00.001-07:00

Finally I arrive back to blogger.com and write to the few, the faithful, the family. :)
How are you all? I miss you all. Things are going so well here, though. I've been so blessed. Dad just got a new job and when he interviewed, he came down to LA for the interview. And now he's coming down for three days (training). How amazing. I love seeing him. And in just three short weeks, I will be home. However, as much as I miss you all acutely, I am learning to absolutely love it here. I am developing so many rich friendships and enjoying my classes a lot. I feel like I'm really learning, and it's been a wonderful time. Things seem to be slowing down somewhat, at least in terms of classwork. However, it seems all my homework is in big chunks--huge project here, massive test there.... I guess that's college, though.

I can't tell you how wonderful my friends are. I will miss them so much this summer. We often go out to dinner together, converse all together in the library when we should be studying, or have marshmallow gun fights. I know. It all sounds *so* mature... but these people love God and others so much....and they're hilarious. :) It's been amazing.

I was honored to be accepted for the position of Women's Ministries Rep in my dorm. This means that I can learn under the direction of Betty Price, the Director of Womens' Ministries, whom I really respect. I remember the first time I heard about her. She was speaking at the Women's Retreat when we were at GBC, and Mrs. Jacobson kept saying so many great things about how impactful she was. And now I get to be under her! I'm so blessed. I'll be only serving for one semester, however, because I'm planning on participating in the IBEX (Israel Bible Extension) program during the Spring '09 semester.

I just bought my first "Little Black Dress" (so to speak), for the formal tomorrow. I am going with the girls (Haley, Beckie, and Melissa). I can't wait. Maybe I can post some pictures afterward. I finally got my camera back in working order and have been photographing everybody, whether they like it or not.

I've been writing what I guess you could call poetry. Something will strike a chord with me and I'll start writing. Sometimes they're uplifting, sometimes depressing. But I enjoy it. Sometimes I write two per class.

This week was Spirit Week. Monday, we were to wear our Master's apparel, Tuesday was "Look Like Your Roommate Day" (Aida and I dressed the same--it was pretty awesome.), Yesterday was Decades Day (I tried dressing like a 90's grunge chola, but it didn't work because I'm blonde. i just looked like my shirt was too big and I went crazy with the eye makeup. Oh well.), and today was "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Day. I am currently sitting in the library, wearing pajamas and slippers. This is normally against dress code, but I have a label affixed to my shirt indicating my intended vocation. The label says "Mattress Tester."

I'm sewing a dress for my clothing construction class this semester. We start out learning the basics (some of which I already knew, but was no expert by any means!) and by the end of the course, we have a dress made. I actually think mine will look pretty nice. It's turning out well. I just need to finish the facings and hem, I believe. I was hoping to have it done for tomorrow night, but it doesn't exactly fit the "cocktail attire" standard for the formal. And I like the dress I bought today.

This summer, I'm hoping to waitress (Dad's bringing me a couple of restaurant applications when he comes on Monday)--maybe full-time. I'll need to save up for the plane flight to Israel, plus all the normal expenses of college living. And then I'm going to try testing out of 3 classes--history classes, mostly. I also want to take a class this summer. I have some fun scheduled in, though. I've planned to join some family friends who always kindly take me along on the Memorial Day Camping Trip. I absolutely love it each year. And I'll be flying back to California twice for weddings. I'll be a bridesmaid in one, actually. I adore both couples and am so excited for them. Here's a praise--I was kind of taken aback by all the planefare costs, but I just thought I'd have to step up waitressing hours or something. Mom called the other day (kindly going over my taxes for me!) and said that I was getting a bigger refund than previously thought--about 3/4 of the cost of all the plane fares. It's amazing to see God always provide for my needs--even funny things like plane fare.

Overall, God is providing me with an amazing, wonderful college experience. And I will soon be home with all of you, enjoying your company and praising God with you. Thank you for your faithful prayers on my behalf and your concern in even visiting my ill-updated blog. :)

Thinking

2008-03-11T00:21:00.000-07:00

I'm on lounge duty tonight, because a friend needed me to sub for her, and actually I'm happy to do so. I've just finished a mountain of homework the size of Rainier (took me all weekend). I can't bring myself to work on homework much at all tonight--it's just the very principle of the thing--a weekend that full of homework doesn't exactly inspire a weeknight of diligence. It's nice to have a bit of time to chew on all that has been going on, as I simultaneously chew on black licorice and contemplate the delights of tomorrow.

And my mind keeps wandering to so many things.

I think about the Gospel which has become so real to me, so much more beautiful as i've gone through Romans this semester. I think about the friend God provided me this year, to lean on and pray with through the hard nights--a sister who knows me so well, a sister who sacrifices so much when I never deserve it. I think about the beloved friend back home who reached beyond her pain to bless me this week. I think about the precious couple from home that I hold so dear in my heart, who came and spent the weekend with me as they traveled nearby. I think about the fun I've had, even with my coworker who has become such a great sister to me. I think about the loving people here I still want so much to get to know. I think about how enjoyable I find the library, simply because it's filled with people I enjoy so much. I think about how over the course of two months, so much has happened, and so much has changed.

I think about home being only four days away. I think about my brother playing music for me over the phone. I think about how much I stifle my homesickness until just before I go back home, and how it all comes pouring out. I think about those I know who don't have a family worth missing. I think about wonderful friends back home. I think about how very blessed I am.

Out of everyone in the world, everyone in history, I have been given the Gospel, given a loving family, given a place to live, given Scripture in my own language, given more than adequate food and clothing, given so much. How can I complain?

I Love the People of God!

2008-01-26T22:40:00.001-08:00

I wrote this last Thursday night for my Facebook, but thought I ought to post it here too. Thank you, to all of you who have been this for me...

The gentle sound of rain hitting puddles is making me miss home a bit. But the rain here also makes me even happier to be here. There's something about when it rains in California. Last night, my sweet friend/ARA/Small Group Leader/classmate/next door neighbor (man, I think we need a DTR!) Jenna Lugo kindly lent me her umbrella. As I walked toward the gazebo under the oaks, the winds began to pick up--very quickly! I hadn't gotten past the gazebo before the wind entirely flipped the umbrella inside out. This made me laugh a bit, and I faced it so that the wind would turn it rightside out. This worked, and I began to walk again. About two steps later, I had an inside out umbrella again. I couldn't help it--I doubled over laughing. This really doesn't happen in Seattle, because we just don't use umbrellas. The rain is gentler back home, and we're used to it. I don't really have to deal with inside out umbrellas. When I returned to the lounge, I spent some time with my sweet friend/ARA/umbrella lender/etc. and had to get a highlighter from my room. When I got to the door, I saw a brand new, beautiful umbrella awaiting me with a note attached. It had my nickname on it, and some sweet wishes for dry weather. My dear friend and her fiance had picked it out just for me. Do people get nicer? I don't think so. I am so thankful for the way God blesses me with His love through others, even when all I can seem to focus on is how to fix drenched hair & soggy Converses. He is making this place a wonderful home--different, but wonderful.

patter...

2008-01-09T22:33:00.000-08:00

The rain danced in the puddles as I enjoy doing when it visits. I looked out my window, seeing its impact by the light of the streetlamp. It gurgled and swirled down the drainpipe as I enjoyed it and began dozing off.

The beauty of water amazes me so often. Without it falling from the sky, I begin to dry out, nearly unconscious of the fact that I'm going through life just waiting to hear it on the roof again. Crashing waves transfix me. I remember running with my friends around the inside edge of their pool in the summer when I was a kid. It made the water all become one swirling mass that carried us when we stopped. I thought it was the most remarkable thing in the world.

I once read that life could not exist if water were not miraculously designed by God to expand when frozen. To think that I wouldn't be here, had it not been for some seemingly tiny detail, is beyond my comprehension. I love to consider that God has intricately designed all things to fit together beautifully. He is indeed wonderful Creator, but I also like to see Him as the Artist He is. Water is just one example of the fascinating world He designed. I often look at my hand as I look at it and am completely distracted. I use my hands all the time. But they hardly seem to show any sign of wear. I can't think of any manmade object like that, unchanged by constant use, and able to heal any change that does end up occuring.

I went to the eye doctor the other day and was taken in as she examined my eyes. I can't believe that my eyes are doing so well--it's certainly nothing of my doing. You know how it is, as a little kid, when your Mom says not to look at the sun, but the sunset turns your head back again. I can hardly resist a sunset. I seem to hang with people who love pictures, so I see no lack of camera flashes. I've always been the one to look into the sparkler on the Fourth of July and write my name with it. God has graciously sustained my eyesight. He knit me together in my Mother's womb, to last. He is indeed Creator and Sustainer, and I am thankful. What most captures you about His creation?

God's Gracious Gifts

2007-12-17T00:15:00.000-08:00

Today in church, Pastor Ken spoke from Ephesians 2 on the topic of God's grace. I absolutely love to think of the variety and depth of God's grace, as may be indicated by the title of my blog. Needless to say, it was an impactful message, as is any focused on the character of God. I found this excerpt tonight from a Radiant article from last May, and I thought this related very well to what we meditated on in the service this morning. Enjoy:

I have not been grateful to God for the “gift” of my recent medical problems. Just like that Christmas, I think I deserve something more—I'm “too young” to be worried about melanoma, and besides, I've never been into tanning. I eat some tofu and visit a gym twice a week, so what I expect are good prognoses and a decent body.

But gifts aren’t things you earn. Sometimes they’re confusing. Despite the myths about Santa bringing better toys to the good kids, we don’t give Christmas presents to each other as a reward for being well-behaved for another year. The pillow from Tim wasn’t an indicator of his satisfaction with me, and a cluster of precancerous cells isn’t a report card from God.

Beauty & Glory

2007-11-30T00:21:00.000-08:00

Just so you all know, I've copied the Slight Hall idea, and have now created a blog of quotes from my dorm life. I invite you all to come and share in the joy and wonder of The Dixon Life, and become enlightened with some Dixonology.

Few Moments to Blog...

2007-11-12T01:24:00.000-08:00

Way too stinking long since I last blogged. I have so many emails to respond to, but I figure I haven't blogged in months, so here I am.

Really, I only want to stay up a few more minutes, just to tell you all what I've been doing. I'm now at Master's, very happy and very busy. I'm working in the Athletic Department as an office assistant, concessions attendant, and study hall monitor, which is a huge blessing, because I'm allowed to do homework on the job most of the time.

My favorite class is New Testament Survey with Dr. Halstead. It's been all too amazing learning about Christ in the gospels, and I eagerly await the increase in love for God and His Church as we enter Acts. A couple of weeks ago, my friend's dad spoke in chapel and said exactly what I needed to hear--a very refreshing message on Romans 8.

I love the church I'm attending--I really enjoy the shepherding of the pastor. Even though there are hundreds and hundreds of people who attend, he remembers my name. Remarkable, really. And I'm attending a Life of Christ sunday school class which complements my New Testament class very well.

I can't tell you how much I love my dorm. The girls here are fantastic. I have so many sisters here and hang out with them all the time. I'm challenged by them to grow in the Lord and am so encouraged by the privilege of living with them.

I do, however, miss family, friends, and the beautiful Pacific Northwest. I'll get to return for Christmas and be blessed by la vida rainy. :)

Don't Let Thomas In

2007-08-16T23:45:00.000-07:00

"Goooood Morniiing, Portland!" I woke, groggily finding my grandmother moaning at the cheerful radio greeting. I guess if 5 am doesn't come easy for me, it certainly wouldn't for her either. We lay silently, both wanting to just ignore the exuberant weather forecast of a 90 degree day. Nana rolled over and sniffed the air. I sniffed too--I thought something seemed a little off. "Do you smell a skunk?" she asked. "YES! That's what that is." I wasn't sure if I should mention that I thought the room smelled nasty, so I was glad she'd both brought it up and figured out the source. We thought for a second, and she woefully said, "I sure hope the cat didn't get in a fight with it." I groaned. Then I laughed, picturing my 76 year old grandmother trying to give her cat Thomas a tomato juice bath. It may get rid of the smell, but it could be more trouble than it's worth. She and I both got up, with her worrying about the skunk getting under the house. I went into the guest room where my Mom & Dad were sleeping. I asked them about it, and mom said, "Yeah, Gary already noticed that. He was wondering whether it was Tim." We all burst out laughing, and I looked at Tim in his sleeping bag. At age nine, anything is possible--including smelling not unlike a skunk. But it wasn't him. I closed their window, as it was getting cold, and as I did so, I saw a black & white animal. The skunk! No. It was Thomas. Whew. I certainly didn't want more stink. But later, as we found out, Thomas wasn't quite free of odor either. He proved that he'd had some tango with that skunk in the wee hours, and certainly didn't understand why we wouldn't want him in the house. As my uncle Greg would later say, "But it stinks out there!"

A Good Ol' Shot in the Arm

2007-08-10T00:21:00.000-07:00

I got shot several times today, and survived (so far), I'm happy to tell you. I had to get my meningitis vaccine, and had to redo my MMR because some fool nurse didn't do it right when I was a kid. So I went in to get my shots, and they talked me into two more. They tried to talk me into a fifth that a Christian girl should never need, and I had to practically bat my way out of the room to get the nurse to stop. I cannot believe the hard sell I got. When they've already pricked me four times anyway, I can't imagine that they wouldn't expect me to be a little sore at them. Ha.

Anyway. I can't believe how much fun college preparations are. Where's the Tylenol?

One good thing to report: Much like Tony's experience, my iPod seemed to have died, not to be consoled by its friend the recharger for anything. I wasn't sure what to do. But I saw Tony's post, and he inspired me to try again. He inspireth me, he inspireth joo. Anyhoo. This time, it WORKED! I can't believe it. If your iPod ever goes dead, wait about a month and try to recharge it again. It sounds like this may be more than a one-time occurance.

We had the Marks over tonight. (So I guess that makes for more than one good thing to report.) It was fun to see them, but sad to say another goodbye. I wish them well in the new land God has for them. They have been so great to get to know, even if it's been a short time. It's a good thing we have the internet & email to keep in touch. Otherwise, I don't know how I'd be able to keep in touch with so many people via snail mail. I mean, I love the handwritten note as much as the next girl, but honestly. Email does make my life easier.

Sweet Stacia

2007-08-08T01:38:00.000-07:00

I love my neighbor Stacia. She is the sweetest neighbor I've ever had. She's actually more like an aunt to me. This picture is of us on the 4th of July. You seriously have to check out her blog. I am so excited about all that the Lord has been doing in her life. She's the coolest sparkler-toting chick this side of the Mississippi. Although I'm not sure I know any east of the Mississippi either. She makes great cupcakes, too. (See video for proof)

Fellowship & Flowers

2007-08-07T20:51:00.000-07:00

Today Mom, Tim & I went to coffee with Mrs. Israel, and had a delightful time of sweet conversation, sweet coffee & sweet-smelling flowers from Mrs. Israel's garden. (She wore her Master's shirt just for me!) Here are some pictures of the flowers:

Ready, Set...

2007-08-05T19:21:00.000-07:00

I'm happy to say that I'm typing this post from my very own brand new HP laptop. I just made this video, too.

I got it night before last, but haven't had much time to play with it yet. Today after church, we had some company over for lunch. To tell the truth, we'd never met any of them before. It all goes back to one evening at Red Robin. I was waiting on several tables, and actually brought up my college plans to them (which normally I don't really do). They asked me specifically what college I was going to in Santa Clarita. I told them about Master's, and they practically jumped out of their skin. They told me, "One of our best friends is going to Master's too! She'll be a freshman." They glowingly told me all about her and recited her phone number to me. I got in contact, and she & her parents came over for lunch today. She is very sweet, and we're considering working in PBC's childrens ministry together. Pretty amazing how God works. I just keep meeting wonderful girls who are going for their first year at Master's! Haley & I will be going to our friend Jessica's wedding, where we're expecting to meet her (future) sister-in-law, also named Katie, also going to Master's as a freshman. And Stefanie B., who I met in Berlin three years ago is going as a freshman this year. The Lord is just so good to me. I can't really wrap my mind around it all.

Horizons

2007-07-19T13:48:00.000-07:00

God is teaching me so much about Himself lately. His name is to be praised. I was reading in Job the other day (what an encouraging book!) and was reminded of true joy. Not just "I'm feeling better" but "The joy of the Lord is my strength." Job knew what it was all about. Try to read this as if you're in the middle of it:

Job 1:18-22: (emphasis added)

While he was still speaking, another also came and said, "Your sons and your daughters were eating and drinking wine in their oldest brother's house, and behold, a great wind came from across the wilderness and struck the four corners of the house, and it fell on the young people and they died, and I alone have escaped to tell you."

Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped. He said,

"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God.

If that's not convicting, I don't know what is. So even as God is changing my life so much, and as I head toward each horizon that He sets in my path, I can know that God is to be blessed both when He gives and when He takes away. I came into this world with nothing, and anything I gain is from Him. That brings such joy and peace. I knew these things. I just needed to be reminded of them. And on top of that, God has been bringing such abundant blessings into my life, that it's caused me to think about how truly amazing God is. I keep going through this mental quandry: Should I be amazed at what God can do, or should I not be amazed at all, because I know that He is so able to do that? Does that make sense? Basically, I know what God can accomplish, but I'm amazed every time. What is up with that?

As He continues to show me how beautifully He can guide my path, I'm learning to trust Him more and bless His name. I look forward to seeing all that He will continue to do.

Not Sure What to Call This Post

2007-06-30T13:15:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody! Thank you so much for your kind prayers & comments. I am still having a hard time (Thursday night was a doozie for me), but God is good. There has been much encouragement even in the difficulty. I know that I'll look back on it and see His hand through it all, and praise Him. Why is it that trials are always the things you look back on with the most joy? It does seem that way, with me at least. Trials are truly rich times when you see God so clearly because He draws you so close.

You know what's really strange? Lately, the weather has completely matched my mood. Even down to weird mixes of sun and ominous clouds when I have mixed emotions. And Thursday, I cried (while it simultaneously rained), got it together (and the rain held up), and then I began crying again (with increasing intensity as the rain began to pick up). It's one of the oddest things I've ever seen. Of course, usually I'm happy and it's not sunny, so it's not usual. Just lately. :)

And life goes on. For a number of reasons, I've been baking like a madwoman. I made an apple cake for my parents' anniversary (which was really on the 18th, but they were forced to celebrate it on the 25th instead). Last night, I baked a pineapple upside-down cake, and this morning I baked a coffee cake. I seem determined to make myself (and everyone around me) fat. But it's fun to do! :) I've been really wanting to bake a layer carrot cake sometime, but haven't gotten around to it. Why do I get the urge to bake once the weather is warming up? That really doesn't make much sense, does it?

Anyway, I need to call into work pretty soon (they have me on call today). I'm hoping I don't have to go in, because I'd been wanting to have dinner with some friends tonight. At least God knows what schedule he wants me to have. Good thing He's in control. Seems like I'm always confused about what's going on.

Difficulty

2007-06-26T12:54:00.000-07:00

I'm going through a hard time right now. Normally, I am very happy. God has given me a fairly content and joyful heart. I'm hardly ever sad or emotional, but due to a couple of things lately, I feel like someone has died. It's that bad. Yesterday, on the way to work, I started crying. It all comes in waves. Sometimes I can manage, other times, I just can't. But God is good, and even though I'm broken, He's holding me and will direct my path.

I know this is really vague, but would you please pray for all people involved?

So Tired, Tired of Working, Tired of Working.....

2007-06-13T01:36:00.000-07:00

Well, it is shamefully late at night, and I've been shamefully late at posting anything since camp. I do hope to get a recap post finished, but I'm too tired to think about that right now.

I just wanted to give a post to say I'm alive, basically. I've been working a ton, it seems. Friday I worked 8 hours, finishing at 12:15, and then had to be in at 11:30 the next morning, and worked 9 hours that day. Suffice it to say, I'm not feeling too diligent at the moment. Although the financial rewards are appreciated, the flesh is weak.

Speaking of flesh vs. spirit, please be praying for my coworkers. I don't think I'd be best to go into detail, but one of the girls spoke with a few of us believers tonight about salvation. She seems like God might be drawing her, but she keeps getting bogged down, thinking that Christ is about rules. I prayed with her at the end of the night, but I think I might write her a note, just to say a few things and try to encourage her. Anyway, it was very exciting tonight to speak with her, and very exciting to find out that two of my coworkers are believers. There are some others, but before tonight, I didn't know about these two. So I was very encouraged.

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately, and I'd like to post about so many of them. But right now, I can't remember much of anything that I meant to post about. So I'll leave that for another time when my brain is working, and my body isn't.

Sap in the Woods

2007-05-25T00:30:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow (or technically, today) I will embark on the previously mentioned beloved annual camping trip. I am very excited about this, as I only really get to go camping once a year. My parents don't make for very happy campers. So I get to join a very kind family from JH (no, not Jr. High--Joint Heirs) who invites me every year. I believe this will be my third year (?) with them. They generously provide everything from food to tent--even an air mattress. I am amazed at their sweet away-from-home hospitality every year. A different family gives me a ride to and from there every year, which also blesses me incredibly. Lots of fun conversation and laughter is to be had during this weekend. Everybody loves to play games late into the night. Well, everybody but the party poopers, that is.

So, for those of you who may have some time this Saturday and want to drive over just to visit some happy campers for the day, you'd be more than welcome. But if you can't make it, I hope to have lots of fun tales and photos to share when I make my return from the great outdoors.

And, yes, I am bringing my snowpants.

7 Things

2007-05-17T16:25:00.000-07:00

Jen tagged me. I'm flattered--thanks Jen! As Jen said, "That means I have to tell 7 (true) things about myself, and then tag 7 friends so that they have to do the same."

1 ~ This is a little like the icebreaker at Women's Retreat where they simply told us to take as much toilet paper off of a roll as we wanted. Well, I thought about it and considered the possibility that we'd be somehow limited in toilet paper the whole weekend to the amount of toilet paper we were to take at this moment. So I decided more is better (which is hardly ever right. I don't know why my reasoning was so errant!) and took lots and lots of toilet paper. I should have considered that the ladies who lead the retreat are very nice and would never do such a thing to us. Some ladies took only one square, and as I saw them I smugly thought, "Well, they'll be sorry!" But alas, it was the other way around as Kristi B. announced that everybody should divide up into groups of three, and for every square of toilet paper you took, you had to tell something about yourself. Needless to say, it was very embarrassing when I had the most squares in the group and couldn't think of anything to say! Anyway, I've given myself a while to think since I was tagged, so I ought to be able to think of some things now.

2 ~ I have a tendency to "suck cold from the air" as mom puts it. I take off my socks and immediately, my feet are so cold they hurt. If I don't blow dry my hair in the morning, I'm irritated all day because I'm cold. As I said before, though, I don't get cranky just because I'm cold. For some reason, when I'm cold, everything hurts. Not sure why.

3 ~ I think I've blogged about this before, but I love "The Amazing Race." I want to be on The Amazing Race. Lately, I've also discovered the delightful "Jon & Kate Plus Eight" and "Kids By The Dozen." I want a huge family. I think this partially comes from my love of kids and partially from having been an only child for so long. One time, I visited a family of nine kids for the day. I got home and burst out with, "Mom, they're so cool. They have BUNK BEDS!" Mom was somewhat irritated, as they'd just gotten me a new double bed.

4 ~ I think I'm Mexican, Italian and Chinese. I love their food. Of course, I love American food too...

5 ~ I love the game "Settlers of Catan." This will be my first year of going to the Memorial Day campout with my very own Travel Edition. Did I mention I love camping too? Camping is cool. Last year, I was terrified of being cold at night, so I brought all my snow gear (including parka) and wore it inside my sleeping bag. Very classy.

6 ~ I don't really know why, but I always feel like spending money at Target. I love Target. They have the coolest stuff. I don't like shopping at other places, though--unless we're grocery shopping. Now that's a different story.

7 ~ I'm way too gullible. My manager messes with my mind all the time. It's not fair.

So now I tag: Leila, Barbara, Mo, Sean, Clyde, Stacia, Micah, Kim, Natalie and Jesse. What's that you're saying? Yes, I know the rule says seven, but I'm gonna tag ten. So there.

Grace Alone

2007-05-08T12:52:00.001-07:00

As I was reading this article today, I was reminded of how God brings people together.

This occurs especially in salvation; unifying those who, apart from Him, could never find unity. I am reminded of the lyrics:

"Once strangers chasing selfish dreams, now one through grace alone."

Don't you think daisies are the friendliest flower?

2007-04-13T11:13:00.000-07:00

We visited the tulips yesterday. Very pretty. I'm hoping we can go again tomorrow before I have to work. Here are a couple of the pics. For more, click my Flickr badge.

On the subject of Flickr, I've discovered Picasa Web Albums. I'm pretty impressed with the amount of photos you can keep on Albums--you get a gig of space, about 4,000 photos. With Flickr, you get about 200. It's a bit different than Flickr--I can't find a way to put a general badge up, just individual album badges. But you can comment on photos just like you can on Flickr. So I'll probably use both, but y'all might want to check out Albums. I've always loved Picasa.

I'm Waiting...

2007-03-28T23:54:00.000-07:00

So I've been thinking that I ought to blog more about waitressing. It can be so fun, and the people can be so interesting, that I think it might be fun to share. Yes, we get everything from tables of demanding, non-tipping teenagers, to the table of 14 good-natured construction workers that come in 5 minutes before closing. (I'm not kidding.) On Monday night, one of the other servers came up to me and told me that she was so angry at somebody that she couldn't stay long enough to close--she said she'd pay me $20 to close for her instead. Crazy, huh? I ended up getting $75 in tips that night too--much better than I would've expected. On a Monday. I don't get it.

I still haven't broken the Valentine's Day record, but I've been enjoying the steady tippage. I've had lots of fun getting to know my coworkers, and even my tables. One night, a couple weeks after we'd opened, I got triple-sat (three tables seated at the same time). I just quick-greeted each table, told them my situation, and assured them that I'd get to them as quickly as I could. They were all really cool about it, and later on my manager came up to me. I said, "Uh oh. Did I do something wrong?" He said "Yeah, uhm, actually--you have the vice-president of Red Robin at one of your tables." I looked over at the table he was indicating. It was the table I'd helped last out of all three tables. Oh boy. My manager continued, "He says you're doing a great job. Just treat him right, okay?" I said, "Yeah. Alright." But I couldn't believe it. My manager almost turned away, and then he said, "Oh, and one of the girls said that her table left a tip for you. Here it is." I looked at the slip--table 114. Earlier that night, I'd greeted the table, even though I usually don't do bar tables because I'm 19. I just wanted to make sure that they'd at least been greeted, and I could pass them on to one of the servers who could legally wait on the table. But the couple said, "Everyone else has passed us by. You're the only one that cared enough to stop. Can't you just be our server?" I told them that I wasn't old enough and that I'd get a manager to find them a server that could wait on them. I helped them as much as I legally could, and then talked to the manager. She pointed me to a server, and I handed everything on to her. I told the couple who their server would be, and said goodbye. I continued my night until my manager told me that they'd left me that tip--the slip was for $10. I couldn't believe it! They were so nice, when I'd hardly done anything to help. I kept waiting on my tables, and even got to talk to the VP of Red Robin a little more. He said he totally understood the situation I had when I got triple-sat. He said he would've done things exactly the same way. I got to meet his wife and his little boy too. That was a really cool night.

You get quite the assortment of people when you're waiting tables--everybody from the family that tells you that they want you to marry their nephew in Montana, to the little girls who draw you pictures on paper napkins, to the frail little old lady who can down a two-patty monster burger and numerous cups of tea, to the thirty-something ladies celebrating the latest baby born in their group of friends, to the mother-preteen son dinner dates, to the two guys who come in late and have the exact same burger and beverage.

My Brother...

2007-03-21T11:07:00.000-07:00

We were talking about one of the (much loved) ladies in our church who really enjoys Tim, and I was saying how she's part of his fan club. Mom was listing off all the people who would qualify as fan club members. We were having fun with this, and Mom said at one point that she was fan club president. I said, "No, I'm president."

Tim made us both laugh when he said, "Well, I'm king."

A Little FYI

2007-03-18T00:53:00.000-07:00

Just so you all know (and I know you all would want to know), I got whipped cream in my hair at work tonight.

That is all.

What will you give for love?

2007-03-13T23:59:00.000-07:00

Today on Oprah, (yes, I know it's lame that I'm blogging about Oprah) there were several families featured. I switched it when it got to the family with "two daddies" but before that, there was a really cool segment about adoption. The story was so cool, I had to share it. An African Boys Choir was touring in North Carolina when their orphanage back in Liberia was attacked and they were left homeless, here in the states. One lady was sitting and watching them perform, and she claims that as she watched, God spoke to her heart, telling her that two of those boys were hers. (I know, I know. It sounds kooky, but it's a cool story. Just read and come to your own conclusion.) She knew about the ordeal these boys were facing, but it was too hard to imagine that she could possibly adopt two teenagers, having three young girls of her own. After the performance, two of the boys walked up to her, gave her a big hug and called her their mom. After she and her husband had discussed the whole thing, and actually agreed that they would adopt the boys, she found that her four best friends were trying to talk her out of it. She brought her friends to a performance, and they each found a change of heart. Each of their families ended up adopting as well. One woman had two sons who recently left for college, leaving her and her husband empty nesters. They adopted six kids! This spread throughout the community, and, as Oprah's website says, 14 families in the community adopted a total of 31 kids from that orphanage.

So the story really got me thinking. What would it take for me to actually take action on the needs I know to exist? These women had seen the news reports about African orphans, but by their own admission thought that the problem was just too big to possibly be able to make an impact. (Never mind the fact that if we do nothing, the problem will just be bigger.) But changing one child's life is such an impact, let alone what they ended up doing. It's interesting how we need the evidence to impact us--we need to talk to the orphans, to go to the country, to really see and smell and hear the need. Why can't we just know and do? I'm not, by any means, criticizing these women. I know I'm the exact same way--neglectful until something kicks me in the head. But really, how many steps can possibly keep us from making a difference? We can give a few dollars, and if we can't, we can volunteer for a few hours, and if we can't, we can pray. My selfish, Americanized consumer mentality has to stop. I can and must divert my views from this little plot of dirt, beyond, to the needs on the wrong side of the tracks, or to the needs far across the ocean. It shouldn't take the gigantic to make me do my small part.

Thoughts from my little ledge...

2007-03-06T23:59:00.000-08:00

I'm sure more could be said of this, and I may not say it exactly properly from a theological point of view, but tonight as I sit at the computer in my Red Robin uniform, I know I have to just say it, properly or otherwise. So...

I checked Tony's blog a little bit ago and read his post about God's glory. He wrote about (and Andrew Peterson sang about) how we have such a tiny vantage point from which to see God. And I really tried to contemplate that thought as much as I could post-work. I pictured a person on a ledge, trying to peek around the ledge and seeing something bigger than life itself. I then pictured Moses, naively, passionately asking the Lord to show him His glory. And God mercifully agreed to let him see His back, but Moses would not be able to see His face. (The passage can be found here.) Then I thought, we can't even remotely see that. We don't see the burning bush, or the pillar of fire by night and the cloud by day, or the leper being healed at Jesus' command. We don't see any of that. We do, however, see so many things that God mercifully allows. He lets us see His glory in a small way. But we see such a very tiny corner. And I thought about that. How do I think about that corner that I see? Very often, I think and live in such a way that would make it seem that God's glory is all limited to that corner. That's walking by sight and not by faith. That's putting God in a box. That's living with a little more joy than an unbeliever, with a Christian sticker on my lapel. God is so vast, beyond anything I can comprehend, but the little I may comprehend isn't impacting me as much as it should.

So much to change, such a little lifetime.

Zeus

2007-02-18T22:53:00.000-08:00

I must preface this post with a comment: I am not a cat lover by any stretch of the imagination. There are some cats I find tolerable--some may be even slightly enjoyable. But do not take this post as anything more than my observations about a peculiar animal. Cats are nothing compared to dogs--and that's final. With that out of the way, here's my post.

Probably prompted by Jen's zoological post, I thought I'd write a blog about our neighbors' cat, Zeus. Yes, they named him after a Greek god, and he seems to think he is some form of deity. They named him Zeus because he has a rather sizeable kink in his tail that makes it shaped rather like a lightning bolt. Zeus actually has a very keen ability to predict the weather. I'm not sure whether or not this has anything to do with the shape of his tail, but nevertheless, it seems to be the case. This meteorological ability has been named "Cat Radar." If Zeus doesn't want to go out in the morning, it most likely will rain by the afternoon--even if everything looks sunny. But, even with the gloomiest of appearances, if Zeus goes outside, you know it'll clear up out there.

I must mention a minor deviation, however, in Zeus' abilities to foretell good weather and bad weather. See, Zeus doesn't like snow, and everybody knows that snow is the best possible weather. So if he doesn't go outside, you could interpret it as a sign of precipitation, not of bad weather, per se.

I hope our neighbors don't mind me blogging about their cat--it's not exactly like I'm giving out their address with pleas for fan mail and tv interviews or anything. And no, I don't think he's up for any autographs. I'm very sorry.

Wednesday

2007-02-16T15:54:00.000-08:00

So on Wednesday, I got to class and sat down, and Haley came in. She said, "So did you have chocolate yet today? I actually had some at breakfast." I thought that was a little odd, but told her I hadn't had any. I redirected my thoughts just as Jessica came in. Jessica was recently engaged and hasn't been the same since. Her feet don't really touch the floor when she walks, and she has hearts drawn on her note sheet-- and yes, I'm serious (about the hearts at least). She even writes her fiancee's name in the hearts. Haley & I have fun teasing her about it all. Anyway, she walked in and was wearing a pretty red blouse and the shiniest red shoes you've ever seen. Valentine's Day! I had completely spaced. I leaned over to Haley and said, "Oops. Now I get the chocolate thing!" She just laughed. I haven't really given much thought to Valentine's Day since about age 10 and people stopped handing out those little Barbie or Batman valentines.

I worked at Red Robin that night and, as expected, it was absolutely crazy. For the first hour or so, it was all pretty simple--I even got Leila and Andy at one of my tables! That was awesome. Everything broke loose a bit later, and only calmed down for me at around 9 o clock. Lots of girls were phased out long before that, but I was given their tables, which really kept me busy. After I counted my tips around midnight, I realized how much I enjoy Valentine's Day.

So Many Feelings!

2007-02-09T12:18:00.000-08:00

Editor's note: I wrote this on Friday, but didn't get around to posting it. Carry on...

I just got out of Nutrition class, where we watched "SuperSize Me." All I have to say is that I don't ever want to get addicted to BigMacs like the guy that was interviewed who'd had more than 700 in one year. That's just nasty. I almost felt like those frivolous lawsuits against McDonalds might be justified. But that was just the easily-swayed movie-watcher in me. Normally I'm not like that. I think the statistics got to me.

So I got out of class and was thinking about how I'm working at Red Robin, home of the Gourmet Burger, Freckled Lemonade, and Monster Shake, and how I feel about McDonalds. I had a hard time reconciling it except for the "personal responsibility" argument--that people are responsible for what they put into their mouths.

Then I called home. Dad immediately informed me that he got a job offer (praise God!) from... drumroll, please....

Coca-Cola.

I feel fat.

What to Do

2007-02-02T23:28:00.000-08:00

I have a very serious website for you all to check out.

I will say no more.

Funny Times...

2007-01-19T23:01:00.000-08:00

Today I was sitting at one of the computers in the school library, and this guy came up to me and said "Hey." I wasn't sure, but I thought I might've heard him say "Molly" after that, and I thought to myself, "Who in the world is Molly?" but he was looking right at me, so I said "Hi." He said, "How are you?" and I said, "Great. How about you?" He said, "Good. Hey, are you still working at the student center?" I took a moment and then said, "Um, actually, I've never worked at the student center. Do you have me confused with someone else?" He looked at me, opened his mouth, closed it, grabbed his hat, covered his face and walked off, saying, "Oh....oh no." I didn't want him to feel bad, though. I whispered/shouted, "No, it's okay. I think it's kind of funny."
The girl at the computer next to me let out a few quiet laughs, which made me laugh too. That was a funny moment.

Did I tell you about the guy who walked up to me on the first day of school and asked me "If you were a car, what kind do you think you'd be?" Yeah--out of nowhere. I was stunned and stammered a little. I decided that I should probably respond, so I just told him my dream car--a Smart car. (Not that I mean I'm smart--I just like the car.) He said, "I think I'd be a Ferrari. Have a nice day." and walked off.

The Real "Happiest Place on Earth"

2007-01-14T17:06:00.000-08:00

Guess where I'll be working...

Oh yeah... You know you want some.

Is My Christian Mask Slipping?

2007-01-06T23:45:00.000-08:00

The other night at WOW (Bible Study), we were discussing a question regarding Rom. 12:1-2, and how we are to serve God and daily become a living sacrifice. We talked about how righteousness happens from the inside out--internally being filled with the Spirit and God's Word, and how that works out into your life. It's interesting how the Christian life flows from the heart. God has to work in you--you have to change, not change appearances.

The focus of the world is all about the appearance of a thing, neglecting the thing itself. You can't paste on righteousness, as every other religion in the world tries to do (the religion of human achievement). From the makeup-and-hair movement, to the self-improvement movement, to the religious movement of the moment, everything is about making it look good--it doesn't change who you are. So many people headed through that wide gate, thinking they look okay when they're whitewashed tombs. So sad.

I think it's easy even for the Christian to fall into that mindset: How does my Christianity look? Am I worshipping right? Am I giving enough? Am I kind enough? We can't live like that. We have to go deep into what God can do internally--the heart surgery, the whole-person change.

A Thought

2006-12-27T11:37:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt that you were so busy becoming who you want to be, that you forget to be who you are?

The Life Lessons of Mrs. Richards

2006-12-13T14:16:00.000-08:00

Every Thursday night at choir practice, I try to nab the seat next to Mrs. Richards. I recently switched to singing alto, and I must admit, I'm not too good at following the alto part in my head. Mrs. Richards had a bout with pneumonia this summer and has switched to the Alto part as well. Of course, she is so talented and experienced in music, and can follow the alto harmony beautifully. It has been a great encouragement for me to be able to sit next to her, for a couple of reasons.

First, she is always gracious enough to help me when I ask. If I really don't understand a certain section, I'll just ask her for some guidance, and she patiently explains it to me.

Secondly, and most importantly, it has been such an amazing blessing to hear her heart expressed in the way she sings. Really, you can hear the cry of her heart as she harmonizes. One example of this is a jazzy rendition of "I Surrender All" in which Pastor Williams had her do the solo. It just didn't seem right for anyone else. Everytime I heard her sing it, she totally captured it. I think it's because I can see complete surrender in her life. She lives faithfully. It seems like I've been hearing that a lot--the necessity of being faithful to be used for God's purposes. I love it when we both are struck by the same song, and I share the part I love most, and she shares a part I hadn't thought so much about. This happened awhile ago with "To The Cross." I was struck by "with my selfish tears in tow, and with my fighting fears I go to the cross." I loved it when she then brought up "Part of me will tell it 'no,' but Christ was there before me so, driven by a prayer I go to the cross."

I started working on this post a few weeks ago, but hadn't finished it for lack of time. Last night I saw Tony Bennett, Carrie Underwood, Josh Groban and Michael Buble on Oprah. Tony Bennett is only a little older than Mrs. Richards, but now when he sings, he sounds absolutely empty--trying to grasp for something that has passed. I couldn't figure out exactly what was wrong, until it dawned on me: he was singing "The Way You Look Tonight." I love that song, I really do. But it was all about external beauty. When Mrs. Richards sings, the lyrics and the spirit of the song give her voice something to sing for. It may sound crazy, but I'd rather pick her mind than his, any day. The more I get to know her, the more I want to get to know her. Mrs. Richards has a lot of lessons to teach, and I'm just getting started.

A Good Quarter

2006-12-12T17:52:00.000-08:00

Today I finished my week of finals. I love it when a plan comes together. Anyway, I'm so happy to be out of school and running headlong into Christmas goodness, but I'm also sad to be leaving the fun and spunky people I've hung out with this quarter. My classes have been great, and my classmates have been even greater. Yesterday and today were especially weird, considering that I've really become friends with these people, and yet each of us slipped out quietly after we finished the final. We may never even see one another again. But God has His purposes, and even if I never know why I met them, He does. It's something that boggles my mind. Everything that happens is for His purpose.

Fifty-Eight

2006-12-12T17:51:00.001-08:00

As I was signing a card for my uncle's 58th birthday, I thought up some poetry that I thought I'd share with you. I didn't think these poems would be appropriate celebratory material to write in the card, but I think you might like them.

Someday when you're rich and famous,
and you have a dog named Amos,
think of your neice whose name is Katie
and send her money 'til you're eighty.

Someday when I'm old and gray,
and I finally have to say
I'm an ancient fifty-eight,
I hope I'm not packed in a crate.

Snow Day

2006-11-27T22:32:00.000-08:00

This was my very first snow day. Yes, grab my baby book and write in it--my very first snow day. As a homeschooler, your Mom can joke that she won't give you the day off school (even if she ends up being gracious and giving you the day off anyway). But today, I found out from my neighbor that the Community College had officially cancelled school for the day. YAY! Although, I did have to get up at the normal time in order to gain that information, no matter--I was free. This made it a six-day weekend! Tomorrow may even make it a seven-day weekend. I've greatly enjoyed playing in the snow with my brother.

Tonight, as I was looking up potential closure info for tomorrow, an Even Stevens episode came to mind. Yes, I used to watch this show. I don't know if any of my fair readers ever experienced this guilty pleasure, but Louis Stevens made me laugh my lungs out during eighth grade. There was one particular episode, however, that is particularly pertinent to this snow topic. Louis decided, for some reason I can't remember, that he really wanted a snow day. So he somehow got a snow machine and went to Principal Wexler's house in an attempt to change his fate. He made sure to get a thin snowpack near every point of entry. All windows gave a show of snow, and for the final touch, when Principal Wexler opened his front door, he saw nothing but snow, up to the top of his head. He ran back inside, panicking. Principal Wexler quickly picked up the phone and declared a snow day--for his school located in the San Joaquin Valley.

I've always admired mischievous ingenuity. I've already considered bribing the weathermen, but that just seems deceptive, somehow... and possibly ineffective.

I'm the Next Bryant Gumbel

2006-11-18T18:01:00.000-08:00

As my Dad watched the Apple Cup Halftime Report today, I began to think I could make it as a sports commentator. Although I don't exactly qualify as a football expert, I think I could do what I saw these guys do. (And oddly enough, men across the nation sit and listen to these athletically-minded gurus.) For example,

"Do you think Washington has enough defense for the second half of this game?"

"They'll have to have it! The Apple Cup is the biggest game of the year for them!"

What poetry! What insight! As overwhelming as that may be, I really think I could've come up with it. Give me a big, fat paycheck, FSN.

Oh, I almost forgot the most important part: Go Dawgs!

Your Ignoramus Is Showing...

2006-11-06T21:45:00.000-08:00

Today we were at the store and Tim found out that goat cheese cost more than regular cheese. He asked why, and we told him that less goats are farmed commercially than cows. He then proceeded to ask "Are goats extinct?" I laughed and reminded him that if they were extinct, there wouldn't be any goat cheese to discuss.

His next line is priceless and must be read aloud to be fully enjoyed.

He said, "No, I didn't mean really extinct, I mean are they extinc-ing?"

Sixth Grade Adolescence

2006-10-31T19:17:00.000-08:00

Today was a super funny day. In speech class, we listened to some classmates' second informative speeches. While delivering these speeches, we are supposed to take on our future profession, and our audience is supposed to take on the qualities that this future profession might face in an audience. For example, our first speaker today gave a presentation on socialized health care (which ended up being more persuasive than informative, but...), and we were members of a caucus.

My favorite speech, however, was when one of our (extremely serious) classmates announced that he was a teacher and that we were fifth and sixth grade students. Immediately, I said to our professor, "Then I guess we'll have to chew gum and twirl our hair!" He said we could do that if we wanted to, thereby signaling the beginning of the end...

I don't know whether it was the coffee I had ingested immediately prior to class, or whether the thought of not having to act grown up suddenly took effect, but boy, I took on the sixth grade persona. It all started when our fun, spunky classmate Beth leaned over and passed a note saying "Isn't that guy soooo cute?!" I began to giggle, and so did Amy next to me. Then, I noticed that Antonio was staring in our direction, and either had something in his eye that was irritating him, or he was winking. That made us all giggle harder, which made our teacher take himself even more seriously. Beth passed a note that said, "Antonio is such a flirt!" As we tried to listen to his lesson on the history of Halloween, everything began to break loose. Mikel wadded up a sheet of notepaper and threw it over at Ryan. Ryan then threw it to Sheela, and Sheela passed it to Beth. Beth threw it to me with a gesture to pass it on to Haley. Then in question and answer time, I decided to be a smart aleck. I raised my hand, and asked, "Mr. Jeff?" Everyone laughed. I continued, "Mr. Jeff, how does Reformation Day tie in with all those historical days surrounding, and contributing to the history of, Halloween?" Rick burst out with "That's a pretty smart question for a fifth grader!" And everybody laughed again. Jeff said, "Ummm, I don't know," which caused the class to laugh again. Milena raised her hand and said in a tweeny tone, "So, did you bring us any candy?" More laughter.

To say the least, we were pretty goofy. At the end of Jeff's lesson, our professor expounded upon the truth that he'd just witnessed. Sixth graders are the only ones who can prepare you for sixth graders. No teaching certificate, no amount of education can prepare you for on the job training. He noted how helpful we were to oblige this bit of experience to Jeff. My guilt and sheepish smirk flooded away. I now felt like I'd done a service. Okay, maybe not. I still felt like we'd gone overboard, and I think Jeff did too, but hopefully this will help him as he prepares for his future. I also hope we didn't kill off his dream of teaching!

As we left our class, I remarked to Amy about just how easy it is to be immature. She nodded and said, "Way too easy!" It brought me back to the fun, albeit immature, days of eighth grade. The giddy, ridiculous feeling that you could laugh forever. But it quickly faded as I considered the next thing on my schedule and walked away.

Amy was right. It is much too easy to be immature. Although we were playacting, and were supposed to be doing so, it was easy to see that the human heart leans toward the easy path. The human heart doesn't want to do the work necessary to get good grades, raise a family, serve others, or earn a paycheck. The human heart wants to play. It may be fun for a season, but play will not satisfy the longings of our hearts. The Lord knows what will satisfy. He tells us repeatedly, in His Word, that only He can satisfy. Pursuing Him, as well as pursuing diligence and wisdom, will be rewarding in the end--long after the laughter fades.

Quote of the Day

2006-10-31T13:25:00.000-08:00

"Choir robes do not equal love."--My profound mother

Romans 1:18-20

2006-10-24T00:03:00.000-07:00

I love fall. This morning was so beautiful, it almost made me cry as I walked to class. The leaves were a brilliant red, and all the spiderwebs were perfectly shown by dewdrops lacing every line. How could people see the fantastic change of seasons and not realize that all this was created? Truly, God shows Himself off to every creature, whether they wish to see or not.

College is Crazy

2006-10-22T23:33:00.000-07:00

It happened again. More like He did it again. Another witnessing opportunity! God is so vastly wonderful. Again, I prayed, the other morning, for an opportunity, boldness, and the words to speak. This has been my frequent prayer.

So I got to Speech class, and as I sat down and watched our prof write on the board, I realized that only a few people had their informative speeches to do that day. That could only mean one thing. Those of us who made up the audience had to prepare for the possibility that we might be chosen to do our impromptu speeches. This is something I've been fearing since the first day when I saw the syllabus. I enjoyed the informative speeches while I could, and once it was very plain that some among us would be chosen to do impromptus, I braced myself. He's warned us that if we try to avoid eye contact to keep him from picking us, he'd pick on us, so I knew that couldn't work. So as he approached my seat with the random topic envelope, I presented a courageous, warm smile and swallowed the lump in my throat. I pulled out some odd question about my opinion on teachers being paid in the summer. I showed it to him with a questioning look on my face. He said, "Yeah, that's kind of a weird one. Go ahead and pick again." So I reached in and pulled out one that said, "Have you ever surfed before? What was your experience like? Did you enjoy it?" I crossed my eyes, sighed and showed it to him. I said, "Man, I've never surfed before. That's gonna be a very short two minute speech!" He told me to pick out another one and like it. So I pulled out the next one. No lie, this is what I picked:

"Is engaging in premarital sex a good idea for everyone? Why or why not?"

If you're laughing, stop. No, just kidding. But really, when I saw that, I half-laughed, half-groaned. For an instant, I thought about asking for another topic, but then I realized this was a really good thing to get. God had given it to me. And anyway, I knew my prof would bonk me on the head if I asked for another. :)

I had to prepare my two minute long speech in two minutes. So as one of my classmates spoke for two minutes about marijuana, I prepared my speech. At first, I could hardly believe I was doing this. I get red in the face doing any form of public speaking, let alone speaking particularly about premarital sex. But I had two minutes and didn't have time to think. I began writing. Almost immediately 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 came to mind. I asked my Prof if I could use a source. He laughed and said, "Yeah, if you can get a source in two minutes of preparation!" Yes! This was too cool. I leaned back and pulled my Bible out of my backpack.

My outline ended up looking like this (sketchy, I know, but it's what I had after two minutes):

Introduction: (explain the question) I believe that premarital sex is a bad idea for the following reasons.

First of all, personally, I've been taught from the Bible that I am not my own--I belong to God. And 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 says: (read it) So personally, believing the Bible, it would be wrong for me to engage in premarital sex.

(2nd) STDs--there are many (hundreds? thousands?) diseases transmitted by sexual activity and you need to know your partner well enough to be confident of your health and wellbeing.

(3rd) Emotional health--Many people feel used and hurt after getting sexually involved with others and breaking up.

Conclusion: So I believe that premarital sex is a bad idea, based on my beliefs as well as physical and emotional health.

After our speeches, we have a Q&A time. One woman in my class raised her hand and asked me if I look down on people who are active. I said, "No, I really don't. My view is that if you don't believe the Bible, then you really won't have much reason for abstinence." That seemed to satisfy the Q&A time, especially since all the guys were looking intently at their textbooks, and the girls were trying their best to look disinterested. My prof was grinning, and as I sat down, my sweet friend Haley (also a believer) leaned over and said, "Good job! I was nodding the whole time. I totally agree!"

I ended up getting an A.

The Giant

2006-10-22T23:12:00.000-07:00

About a week and a half ago, I was going through my WOW Bible Study questions (Yay, WOW group!), and one of the questions initially stumped me. Then all of a sudden, I realized how to answer it. This question was in a portion of that week's study called, "The Heart of a Believer." That portion generally deals with what is going on in your heart, relating to the study, and then later on you have opportunity to journal about application. We had been studying Deuteronomy three. So here's the question I found (reprinted with the kind permission of the study's authors, Pam Jacobson and Denise Brown):

"The Israelites faced giants. I'm sure they felt overwhelmed with the size of their enemies. Sometimes it may seem that your problems are thirteen feet high and insurmountable. What problems have you faced or are facing that seem too big to handle? What have you learned from this chapter that will help you to face those problems head on?"

The answer that I came up with is as follows:

At times, I feel that I'm not ready for this whole "growing up" thing. But God is so faithful to encourage me. Even today, before she handed out our individual grades, my Biology instructor said something about the average class grade on a recent test that made me think that I'd done really badly. But God totally encouraged me through another classmate (and through seeing my grade, eventually).

As this chapter clearly shows, nothing is impossible with God, and nothing is too difficult for Him! I think that sometimes I need to look at 1 Timothy 4:12 and apply it as, "Do not look down on yourself because you are young,..." because so often I feel incapable and insufficient--and on my own I am. But with God, He is able--more than able--and He is all sufficient and will help me to live the life in the last part of that verse. That 13 foot tall giant is so small when I look to God.

Clarity

2006-10-16T23:40:00.000-07:00

Today I put up a short prayer that I would understand God, as well as His Word, more. Specifically, I prayed that I would be able to determine what is true and untrue in life based on my knowledge of God--Who is nothing but true!

As I prepared to read His Word, I picked up some reading glasses that Mom had just bought, to try them out. Using my sleeve, I wiped my fingerprints off the lenses, and put the glasses on. Suddenly, it dawned on me. Just as I can see text more clearly once I've put the glasses on, I am able to see the Lord more clearly once I've seen Him through His Word. Oddly enough, just like cleaning a pair of glasses, I must accurately understand and interpret the Word to see the Lord in an accurate, undistorted manner.

Not What I Expected

2006-10-13T23:24:00.000-07:00

The Lord is so good! This morning, I asked Him to provide an opportunity to witness to someone at school, as well as the boldness and the words to say. I remember doing this before, and that day I got to witness to a co-worker. But anyway, today I just prayed and figured He would provide an opportunity with a classmate. Never set expectations for God. That was silly of me.

So I get through my first class, finished my presentation, and all that, and I planned on studying since I had an hour to burn... or so I thought. Funny how those silly little plans can totally not happen. I sit down and start thinking about taking my textbook out, and a girl from Biology (I'll call her Korinne) comes by. We greet and start chatting, and it sounds like she has some time, so we decide to hang out in the Multi-Purpose Room. She says that she hasn't had breakfast and wants to grab something from the cafeteria--she'll be right back, and I can sit. She comes back a few minutes later with a friend, and we meet and start chatting. Here's where it gets interesting.

Korinne's friend started talking about a guy they know and said that he had been kind of a jerk that morning and that he was being really cranky. Then they realized that he was across the room, and Korinne said she might go say hi. But she was eating and conversation moved on. After a while, a couple of guys walked up to our table and one of them started talking to the girls. He turned and introduced himself to me--the same guy they'd referred to as a little cranky. I'll call him Jack. His friend introduced himself, too, and Jack started talking about how awful he felt. He said that he felt really guilty because the other night at a party, a drunk girl kissed him and he kissed her back. He told us that he felt like he betrayed his girlfriend. We nodded in agreement, which didn't make him feel much better about it.

Jack said that his relationships with girls only last about a month. Korinne's friend said to me, "He's cute, but he's not a good guy to date." He agreed, with some profanity. Then he turned to me and said, "I guess I haven't made much of an impression on you, have I?" I said, "Not really." I added, "And I'm not too fond of the language." He smirked and apologized. He kept whining--still using profanity, but not as much now--about how terribly guilty he felt. He even said, "This type of thing is why I'm an alcoholic." I told him that it was actually good that he felt bad about it. He put his head down on the table. The girls pointed out that what I said probably wasn't much comfort. I knew. :)

For the first half-hour or so, I kept thinking, "Man, I just want out of here. I hate hearing all this. I don't want to socialize with these people." But God softened my heart, and I realized this is exactly what I had prayed for--not what I had expected, but what I had requested. I asked, "God, You've given me the opportunity, I feel You've given me the boldness. Please, just bring those words." I popped out with, "You need Jesus, man." He groaned. The girls said, "Jack's not exactly the religious type." I said, "I can tell." Time went on, and they talked a little about their opinions and beliefs. I prayed, "Lord, I think I need more words!" The only thing I could think to say was "Jack, it's obvious you don't want me talking about religion, but I want to ask you one question. Do you mind?" So I did--I asked him, and he said okay. Honestly, this didn't come from Rick Warren, because I haven't read his book. I think this was what God must have wanted me to say. Other than this, my mind was blank. But anyway, I asked Jack, "What do you think your life purpose is?" It took him aback. I could tell he was starting to take me seriously; the smirk evaporated from his face. He thought for a minute and started, "I think my purpose is to..." His friend interrupted, "Mess up everyone elses' lives?" He replied, a little ticked that his friend wasn't taking this seriously, "No! I think my purpose is to leave my mark." I said, "A positive mark?" He said, "Yeah. Yeah, 'cause I believe that you only die once you've been forgotten." I said, "Hmmm. That's interesting." We began talking about what hell is like; I heard some screwy theories. I told them some of the things the Bible says about it. He said, "Well, then maybe I'm gonna end up in hell, but I'm gonna have as much fun here, now, as I can." He looked down and said, "Although, right now I'm not feelin' too good."

We ended up talking about a pretty large variety of things, considering the amount of time we had. We discussed the Trinity, the canon of Scripture, and Catholicism & Mormonism. (Korinne is Catholic and Jack's mom is Mormon.) Before I knew it, Korinne broke into our thoughts and said, "Katie, we've really got to go to class." I'm not sure that I said all I wanted to say, but I know that God steered that conversation, and I'm pretty sure I said all that He wanted me to say. Korinne and I even started talking on our way to class about the differences between what we believe, a question she had about how those in the Old Testament were justified, and predestination. I told her what I believed about that, and said that I couldn't remember the Scriptures at the moment that deal with that, but that I'd investigate and get back to her. Now, I know from what she said, that she doesn't believe that Scripture is the ultimate Authority. However, I know that she wanted me to make my case with Scripture, because she knows that I do believe Scripture is the ultimate Authority.

Anyway, it was very interesting, and I know that God directed everything today. Jack said at one point (regarding his girlfriend) that this was one of the worst moods he's ever been in. I'm sure that, even though on a human level that may not sound like the best time to share with somebody, that this is what God had planned. Maybe God will make Jack realize that he's at absolute bottom and "needs Jesus," as I said. No matter how little I think I got in, I did get to speak of Christ's sacrifice for our sin and how if we believe, His sacrifice counts toward us. Anyway, it was just amazing to see how God worked today. Not that I should be amazed, in some ways. Of course God will display His glory--why should that be surprising? But it is amazing how He chooses to go about it. Praise God!

Apprehension turned to Appreciation

2006-10-13T23:22:00.000-07:00

College has been terrific. I love college. I hated my Junior and Senior years of high school, but I am absolutely loving Freshman year! I've already made quite a few friends, both in class and out of class, and hung out with a few old friends as well.

A lot of people told me things like, "Be prepared--people are so weird there! Don't go into the Multi-Purpose Room, and just mind your business and go home. Don't get discouraged by all the awful stuff!"

It cracks me up, because I have no idea what they're talking about! I've found people to be so open, friendly and helpful. And today I realized that the whole thing about the Multi-Purpose Room is ridiculous. At first, I thought that I should avoid it--I wouldn't want to be around those kinds of people, would I? But something happened today to make me realize that if I want to be used of God, sometimes I need to be around the tax-collectors and sinners. I'm not saying that I'll spend all my time there, or purposefully hang out with "the wrong crowd." But seriously, I've realized that it's easy to get in the Christian bubble of no-witnessing-allowed-for-fear-of-becoming-like-them. I absolutely am in favor of remaining innocent and pure, but I'm realizing that that's a totally different thing than isolating yourself from everyone who needs the gospel.

Another thing--I'm not getting discouraged. I'm getting encouraged! I mean, sure, my Speech prof said something lousy the other day, and I hear a ton of language, but really I'm used to that kind of stuff from the people I used to work with. And so far, the good has out weighed the bad. I am amazed by the wonderful believers I've met so far. They invited me to their worship time, and I realized just how sweet it can be to praise God with believers who may have a bit of a different style than you're used to. I'm seeing more of what SKH said about having affections and doctrine. Oddly enough, it is easy to get so filled with the truths of the Bible that you forget to be passionate about the God of those truths. Does it matter whether or not you lift your hands in worship? No. Does it matter whether or not you praise God with both your heart and head engaged? Yes.

I am just amazed at how you can go into something, somewhat apprehensive, and leave completely relieved and even refreshed. God is so much greater than all our fears. I'm so thankful for all the people who have been praying for me. I can tell that God's hand has been guiding my way.

To Think That I Saw it On Mulberry Street!

2006-09-19T23:19:00.000-07:00

Lately, we've spent a lot of time holding campaign signs, and have generally been received well. Lots of waves, honks and smiles. There have been a few, however, that have stood out above the rest.

First, there are the kissers. Yes, there are actually dudes who will blow kisses. Usually these types are oily 60 year old men or 21 year old guys with thinning sideways mohawks.

This next category consists of salesmen and perky cheerleaders. How do I know how to identify these people, you ask? Well, the friendliest men in business suits are usually salesmen, and the only remotely friendly high school girls out there are perky cheerleaders (not to be confused with drama queen cheerleaders--they're not friendly at all!). This is one of my favorite categories, simply because they are the most likely to make a hilarious face, scream, hang out the window, honk, and wave, all at once.

There was one dude whose horn made the "Ah-Woo-Gah" sound. We laughed pretty hard the first time we heard it, but what made us laugh harder was when he went around the other way just to honk again.

Then there was the teen guy in a jeep who honked, and then lifted up some microphone attached to outside speakers, (I kid you not!) and said "Hi!" Mom and I stared as he went by, numbly waving. A minute later, we turned to each other, trying to affirm that we'd really seen that.

One lady kept mouthing things that I couldn't quite lip-read. At one point, I thought she said either, "I want a cheese sandwich" or "Those are the guys to go with." Then one day we saw her at a sale and she said, "I've seen you waving signs! I just moved here and I already know someone!" I thought that was pretty funny, and asked her what she'd been saying all those times she'd passed us by. She said that it was, "Are you still out here?"

One guy leaned out his window, just as we were about to call it a day, and yelled, "Go Home!" That was pretty amusing.

Then there was the dog in the motorhome. Somebody had a Rottweiler on their lap, and as they approached, it leaned out the window. Well, I thought that was sweet, and started to say so. As it passed me, however, the Rottie let out a huge, "I'll-snap-your-head-off" bark. I'm not usually one to get scared, but for some reason, this made me yelp. I'm serious. It caught me so off guard, I could not move. After I finally got back to normal, I couldn't stop laughing. It was such a weird experience.

At one point, my friends Erik & Sarah drove by and got stuck in traffic near the spot we were standing. We had a fairly long conversation about The Amazing Race until they could go again. We've seen several people we know, which has been lots of fun. One lady from church likes to make faces at us. She's the only one who has (consciously) stuck her tongue out at us. All in good fun, of course...I hope.

It Don't Cost a Thing

2006-09-10T23:12:00.000-07:00

Mom and I were given Starbucks cards and decided to use them yesterday while we were out. We decided to treat ourselves to the first pumpkin drinks of fall. She got her frapp, and I got my latte--both laced with pumpkin spice goodness. Now, I know that this may not sound like a big deal to all of you spring fans, but for a fall-enjoyer like me, this was glory.

Moving on. On our way to the car, I was telling Mom about an experience when my grandmother and I had been out somewhere and were just being friendly to a lady and her little boy, and she'd completely snubbed us. I remember my grandmother remarking on how unfriendly some people are, when being civil doesn't cost a thing.

So I was relating all this to Mom, because we'd just had a similar experience in line. I looked down at my cup, and instead of the usual heresy or hippie incoherence, I found "The Way I See It, #141." Now, this very well may be the first Starbucks cup I've gotten with any thing sensible written on it, other than the usual "Careful, the beverage you're about to enjoy is extremely hot" warning that is usually there. Anyhoo.

"The Way I See it, #141" said this:

I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stumped by this for many years. And then I realized, you just say, “Hi.” They may ignore you. Or you may marry them. And that possibility is worth that one word.

-- Augusten Burroughs, Author of Running with Scissors.

I thought, how interesting that is. A simple greeting and a smile don't cost anything--there's no risk involved. If people ignore you, it doesn't really matter. But then again, it could be that the other person will be friendly. Maybe you'll learn something, receive a smile back, simply brighten their day, maybe even gain a friend. As this author points out, however unlikely it may seem, you could possibly find a friend for life! I really enjoy these everyday encounters with people I don't know. It's like having a window into the personalities of people you could easily gloss over. It's one of my favorite parts of everyday errand-running, when a perfect stranger can carry on an interesting conversation in the checkout line. Except when it's a desperate twenty-something guy with a bunch of beer talking about how single he is.

Walking Around

2006-09-05T00:04:00.000-07:00

Since our three Japanese exchange students left last Monday, we have had a bit more time. One thing that went by the wayside during their visit was regular exercise. Mom and I have been trying to exercise more throughout this past year, and our cul-de-sac has been a major help toward that end. Mom and I often walk around the cul-de-sac several times in a day. We've counted, and it turns out that one time around the cul-de-sac equals 500 steps. (And I've heard 10,000 steps a day is recommended.) I may have already blogged about our tendancy to do this, but I can't remember.

Anyway, I am happy to have exercise time back, although it was good to have the girls here for the month. Mom actually went around a couple of times with Tim this morning, until he got tired of it, and they went inside. Then, tonight, Mom and I went around eight times and Tim joined us for the last two. We've been trying to boost the number of times that we go around, and we've been going for a goal of eight a day. We were just discussing tonight the idea of each week, adding one round to the daily goal. So next week we'd be doing nine a day. I'm excited about getting more healthy in that area. I like walking, and I like all the conversation that comes with walking with my family.

A So-So Spouse, Who Can Find? Well, Uh, Anyone...

2006-09-04T23:58:00.000-07:00

My mom just recently talked with a guy who was talking about how he's hoping to find a wife soon, and she asked him what his criteria were for finding a wife. "A sense of humor" was top on his list. After he expounded upon his short list of "qualities," Mom replied, "None of those had anything to do with being a Christian. Why was that not a priority?" He said, "Because with me, there's a 99% chance that she'd have to be a Christian anyway." Mom asked, "Well, what about the other 1% chance?" He made it plain that he thought he might find a nice girl who wasn't a believer.

I thought that was pretty interesting. How specific would you be in the qualities a future spouse would have to possess? It's an important thing to consider. While nobody is going to be perfect, there should be some non-negotiables. There are plenty of unsaved people who have a sense of humor. And there are lots of immature, selfish believers. I'm trying to become less that way! :) But seriously, it is way too easy to become desperate. God brings the right people into our lives without us settling for somebody who is ungodly.

I'm kind of amazed at how many times in public, guys will flirt with me or my friends, trying to get a response. The only reason they would do that is because it must work! Not with me or my group, but with the kind of girls that they usually encounter. It is seriously sickening how many times a guy will try to get eye contact. Why in the stink would any girl fall for that? I think a big part of that reasoning is that they feel very incomplete. All the more reason for us to find our sufficiency in Christ!

I Am Barabbas

2006-08-28T16:06:00.000-07:00

Over the past two Sundays, Mom and I have shown the Japanese kids videos based on the life of Christ. Yesterday, we showed them "The Miracle Maker," a wonderful claymation film that portrays Christ's life, death and resurrection in unique and captivating way. The week before, we showed them The Jesus Film for Children. During watching these movies, different things have hit me, but one of the things that jumped out at me is how much the character of Barabbas totally symbolizes those for whom Christ died. Barabbas was a convicted murderer, as Matthew puts it, "a notorious prisoner." Jesus was (and is) completely innocent and sinless. The one person released from death was Barabbas, not Jesus. Instead, Jesus went to the cross.

The story of Barabbas can be found in the following passages:
Matthew 27:15-26, Acts 3:14-15

Can You Categorize It?

2006-08-11T01:21:00.000-07:00

Warning: This post may have some sort of theological incorrectness in it. But I've been thinking about this and just have to post about it. If there are errors, however, please point them out by providing some scriptural basis. Thank you! Here we go...

I've been thinking a lot lately about how much people categorize sin. I know that I tend toward this, thinking that one sin isn't as bad as another. But lately, a lot of things have come to light, and I've realized that this way of thought is sinful in and of itself. It is setting up my own standard of righteousness and unrighteousness, and ignoring the Biblical standards that God has set up. Instead of thinking judgmentally about one thing and not another, we should think of every sin in the same way, as a heinous offense against a holy, perfect, pure God. In case you're mystified as to what I'm talking about, I'll give you an example.

Lately, I've heard so many people talking about homosexuality in a way that makes it sound like homosexuals are worse than any other person could possibly be. I understand that the homosexual lifestyle is absolutely sin, and I don't condone or support it at all, but I think it is wrong to think about it in the way they have spoken of it. One woman said that an actor playing the part of a believer in a certain movie is a homosexual. She thought this was appalling. I had already heard about this, and had read a RixMix about this movie, that really put the actor thing into right perspective--even thought I'm not in complete agreement about his views on this movie! :). Anyway, I asked her why it was so appalling for him to play this part, when any other sinner might have been cast in his place. She brushed off my comment, and continued to berate the movie. Another circumstance was when a man spoke about his apprehension in greeting a lesbian couple. I didn't really get this, either, because greeting any couple who are living in sin, gay or straight, should be the same.

In 1 Corinthians 6:9, it says plainly that "the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God." It goes on to expound upon the unrighteous, and the list includes homosexuals. Yet, it also lists the covetous in verse 10. Now, I don't know about you, but when I think about sin, I know coveting is a sin, but I figure, everyone does it, so it's more understandable. Wrong! It's sin as much as any other in that list. Further on in verse 11, it says "Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God."

1 Timothy 1:8-11 is another excellent passage speaking of the law not being "made for a righteous person, but for those who are lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane..." In the following list of specific lawless, rebellious, ungodly, unholy, profane sinners in verses 9-10, homosexuals are included. But so are liars. Now, I'm not in the habit of lying (except now that I've found how much I categorize sin, I guess I do lie to myself about how bad my sin is!), but when I was little, I do know that I told a lie. I can't remember what it was, but I know that I learned that nobody could trust a liar. My parents made that very clear to me, and since I valued trust and found out how bad lying was, I stopped lying. But that one lie would make me a liar. So I am included in both of those lists of ungodly people. I have been a covetous liar (among many other things!).

Just yesterday, Pastor SK said in his message that while he hadn't lied to anyone that day, or slandered anybody that day, he hadn't loved God with all his heart, mind, soul and strength all the time that day, and therefore he had sinned. How right on! Maybe I haven't stolen anything today, but I have not given all the glory to God that I possibly could today. That is stealing from the Divine!

Now I know that it's not an easy thing to change, but I really want to change this thought process of sin-categorizing. It's really an awful thing! James 2:10 says "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all." That verse definitely shows what sinners we are. We mentally glare upon certain lifestyles and types of sin, but if we have been proud even once or done anything that we might try to justify away, we're guilty of all those things we've looked down on too! It just goes to show how much grace God has given each of us who trust in Him. I am guilty of every possible sin, and yet He still had an abundant love for me that reached beyond that. To quote a choir song, "What a love, what a cost! We stand forgiven at the cross!"

Wheatless in Seattle

2006-08-02T23:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, so after watching my Mom find results by cutting wheat from her diet, I've decided I'm going to try it too. I don't know for how long (with my affection for all things carb-related, it probably won't last!), but I'm going to attempt this as long as I can. I picture it being maybe a month. :) We'll see.

Mom is down six pounds since she began. She started it because she thought she might have a sensitivity/allergy to wheat, but after a few days, told me that it also really kept her from snacking without thinking. I find this a very good selling feature for this "diet" so I'm starting too. I never knew how much I loved wheat until now. I used to think it was funny when people said bread was their big dietary vice, because I've always thought ice cream and all things sweet were my big thing. But I've found that this diet limits me greatly. Last night, we had chicken parmesan, and I couldn't eat the pasta or the toasty french bread. And tonight, we had fajitas. Mom and I had the goodies on top of brown rice instead of using lovely tortillas. I've been eating a massive amount of rice, in fact. We have lots of sticky rice made up when we have Japanese girls in the house, and I am taking advantage of that. It seems like each morning, breakfast includes rice. However, I just found out this morning that Cocoa Pebbles contain no wheat. Score! The other morning, though, I was in great distress when Mom made chocolate chip pancakes for the kids and forgot that I was on the diet. She began handing me a nice, warm, chocolatey pancake, and then said, "Oops! I'm so sorry! I'll see if Gary wants it." I went and got a bowl of rice and tried to enjoy the process.

But tonight I was reading about William Carey and his wife Dorothy. Apparently, they had some co-worker missionaries who didn't handle their finances too well and lived very well on money they didn't have. As the book says, though, "Unable to afford anything better, the Careys were forced to live in a marshy malarial area, where gangs of robbers roamed." Anyway, the excerpt that I found interesting relates to this diet:

"They were now eating curry and rice, day in and day out--a far cry from what those in the European quarter were enjoying, and probably a far cry from what the Thomases themselves were eating. Carey scribbled in his diary: 'My wife and sister too who do not see the importance of the mission as I do, are continuing exclaiming against me, and as for Mr. T., they think it very hard indeed that he should live in a city, in an affluent manner, and they be forced to go into a wilderness and live without many of what they call the necessaries of life, bread in particular.'"

You, Me, and Nanny McPhee

2006-08-01T17:47:00.000-07:00

Today we saw Nanny McPhee. I know, I'm really going to sound like a movie hater, but I had some thoughts about this movie.

What I didn't like:
Even while I was watching it, the recurring thought in my head was, "This movie totally promotes the message that the end justifies the means." The promoting of magic as a wonderful and changing power, to the minds of children watching, is not a favorable aspect of this movie. The special effects at the end were dreadful. They should've left them with cake on their faces, and no virtual wedding veil to be found. Nanny McPhee reminded me of Mary Poppins crossed with Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle. You need to either have the nanny use magic to make them behave, or teach them lessons and have them behave out of their desire. It can't be a mix. It just didn't work for me.

What I did like:
It was a cute movie. I really loved the kids and how totally real they were. I felt like I knew them. Emma Thompson and Colin Firth are always amazing. I enjoyed the bit of Angela Lansbury, too. Lots of whimsy, lots of fun along the way. Showed sinful little hearts for what they were, at least at the beginning. By the end, though, they seemed so sanctified that I halfway expected a heaven scene. :)

So there's my critic review. Not very professional, I know. I just wanted to write one, really.

Dumb Rhyme Time

2006-07-31T18:10:00.000-07:00

It has been too long since I last posted. I apologize. I have many things to post, however, and hope to post some of them in the short future. I have a few minutes until I get picked up for babysitting, so I'll just leave you with a couple of quotes from this morning. This won't be a deep post, just one that I thought you might enjoy.

Tim was humming and saying things at random, and I heard the following words come out of his mouth regarding his views on marriage: "I don't mind if I get hitched rich."

When I wanted what we call "blogging rights" to post his quote, he was being obstinate, and I said "You're a blog hog!"

I think our family might have a future as a bunch of cheesy greeting card writers.

UPDATE: (as of 8/1/06)

Mom filled me in on what Tim had said in context (sometimes his mumblings and bumblings are hard to discern):

He was singing a Tim-composed song to the tune of Jingle Bells or something. And he sang:

I don't care if I get rich,
I just care if I hitch rich

(In other words, he wants to marry a rich girl and bum off of her. What a naughty boy!) Seriously, though, he could be a trophy-husband poet or something, right? Such a life aspiration.

Life is Short--Sing it Well

2006-07-21T23:52:00.000-07:00

Tonight I came home to find some cds, beautifully published, sitting on our dinner table. I looked at them a little closer, and found that they were songs by Justin, the late son of some family friends. He died a little over two years ago. Hearing his music and looking over the cd leaflets reminded me of the brevity of life.

Justin died two days after getting engaged. I'm sure they were thinking about the wedding, not expecting a funeral. It's so important, though, to be ready for that unexpected day when you breathe your last.

I didn't know him well at all, but I've found some of his quotes quite thought provoking. I thought I might share them here. The last one seems a bit like Edwards.

"Music is just the body. The words are the soul."

"It's not the outside that matters. It's not for the outside that Jesus died."

"My greatest desire, is to save all I can from the fire."

Driving Myself Crazy

2006-07-19T16:00:00.000-07:00

On the last season of the Amazing Race, one of my favorite couples had their share of teasing each other. At one point, the guy (Ray) said to the girl (Yolanda), that he was "Driving Miss Crazy."

After having just completed my first driving lesson, I can safely say that I am now Miss Crazy. I hated it! I usually love new things and am excited about new life experiences. Not this time. I'm exhausted. Ugh.

I never knew how hard it was to steer a car until now. Oy! And when other cars came along at certain points, I freaked out. Mom is great at talking me through, but I can't tell you where my blood pressure is right now. It has to be somewhere in the upper eschelons of possible bp range! Please, Lord, give me grace!

Now I think I'll go nap... ;)

So Many Thoughts, So Little Bloggage...

2006-07-13T22:35:00.000-07:00

In the interest of not being quite so unfaithful, I thought I should post some of the things I've been thinking as of late. So here they are in random order, not necessarily cohesively put together, nonetheless...

-We recently heard a man preach who had such passion for the truth of God (as I know our pastors do, I just wasn't used to this man's style) that he often shut his eyes as he spoke, seemingly overcome with thoughts of God's infinite power. I was struck by my own apathy in the light of this man's zeal.

-Our amazing Pastor Williams has once again chosen fabulous songs for our Summer concert. Every choir night I walk away with my mind abuzz (is that a word?) and my mouth humming a tune. I hope to post some snippets of the lovely lyrics soon. However, I cannot post this without mentioning one of the songs we sang tonight. The song, "The Power of the Cross" has an amazing, powerful tune, but more powerful and thought provoking are the lyrics. I can hardly sing this song when I am reading and paying attention to the lyrics. These moving words about Christ's sacrifice on the cross become too much to handle! (Add in the solo by Mrs. Dabrowski and I'm lost!) Just a portion:

"Now the daylight flees, now the ground beneath quakes as its Maker bows His head. Curtain torn in two, dead are raised to life; 'Finished!,' the victory cry! This the power of the cross: Christ became sin for us. Took the blame, bore the wrath, we stand forgiven at the cross."

So true. His power is beyond my ability to fathom, and I would have been forever lost without it.

-A wonderful post by Marcella provoked me to think about my prayer life. I often pray for unbelieving friends and family, but until recently, did not realize how faithless my heart is as I pray for their salvation. Another thing that challenged me in my prayer life was when the Intern spoke (weeks ago) a bit about how although we often think of other believers, we don't often turn that into a prayer opportunity. He spoke of one occurrence where he was reminded of a friend by seeing a person who resembled them, and how even those things should prompt us to pray. So often throughout the day, just like that, I will think of people, and it hardly occurs to me that they could use prayer. Even a prayer of thanksgiving for what a wonderful friend they are, maybe a prayer request brought to mind, etc.

These are all things that have been stirring deep inside of me, and, Lord willing, I will be pursuing more in thoughts and deeds on a daily basis. I love that God is so faithful to bring things to light and change our hearts. What a mighty God we serve.

Noises in the Night

2006-07-13T22:18:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, our youth ministry is having its annual World's for Sale fundraiser (explained excellently here, here, and here). Long story, but basically it is simply a gymnasium packed full of donated used items, a garage sale made mondo-size. Needless to say, it takes a lot of people expending energy to get it done, with three days of set up and three days of sale.

So last night I was pretty bushed as I climbed into bed, and began to doze off. No sooner had I done that, than I was stirred by an odd "SMACK!" sort of noise. I wandered down the hall and asked Mom if she heard it. Nope. Wandered back, dozed off, "SMACK!" again. Hmm. I turned on the light and tried to examine the approximate corner the noise had come from. No such luck. As I looked up at my alarm clock, I discovered a little green tree frog staring me right in the eyes! I have no idea how this adorable, somewhat terrified little thing could have found his way into my room, because I live on the top level of our house. I'm still amazed thinking of what convoluted pathways this frog must have taken. Poor thing.

Ooooh, Green Squirrel Shirts!

2006-07-09T22:05:00.000-07:00

Pastor Sean just blogged this type of thing, so I'm following the trendsetter. Here's what came up when God's Girl gmailed me about Gilead. (I just verbed "gmail"! There you go, Pastor Sean... and, yes, I know I just verbed "verb."):

$1200/Hr Jobs?Apply Now And Make Up To $300 In the Next 15 Minutes!
MaximumPayJobs.com
Funny Cartoon-Like ShirtsGreen Squirrel is well known for unique, funny, & very-wearable t's
www.greensquirrelshirts.com
Free RingtonesGet All Your Favorite Songs Available Now On Your Cell For Free
www.blinko.com
more sponsored links »
Related Pages
INSANE ANIMALS: Stupid.comUnique, unusual, goofy and just plain wacky gift ideas like INSANE ...
www.stupid.com
Andy's Page Of Funny StuffSome of the most humorous stuff on the web. Long lists of jokes ...
members.tripod.com
more related pages »

I'm not sure where in the email she mentioned anything about green squirrel shirts. I never knew anyone was well known for making those. Now I'm more informed... all thanks to Gmail.

Foolish Youth

2006-07-01T00:29:00.000-07:00

I was channel-surfing last night and something on PBS caught my eye. I always think it's pretty funny to watch the "gurus" of worldly opinion for a few minutes and see what the latest is in the wisdom of this world. But this time, the man they were showing was right on the money. I mean, you could tell he had a total new-age worldview and that always creeps me out, but the things he said, for the minutes I watched, really held water for the most part.

He really got me thinking. The whole thing was on healthy aging, from recommending various forms of exercise, to not associating age with shame. He pointed out that those who are older have beauty and dignity all their own, much to share and pass down, and just as much value as other ages. He advocated respect and desegregation for the older class. On these points I very much agree with him. I believe that once something becomes old in our society, whether a person or an object, our society finds it all too easy to dump it and find a younger model.

I've been very much provoked to thought lately on the lives of the elderly and how people treat and think about them. Micah wrote an excellent post about widows that was very thought-provoking. In everyday life outside the blogosphere, I've been reminded of it too. There's the recently widowed woman in need of loving care. Then there's the woman with Alzheimer's who keeps having to be reminded that she has now outlived her last child and is now dependent simply on the friends she's made along the way. There are also numerous people getting married--making lifelong vows. And the thought crops up in my mind: Is there as much love and attention shown to you when you're in your eighties as when you're eighteen? I think not.

I know, the older ones may be harder to relate to. After all, you can't often email back and forth with them, and they may not hear all that well. But they have things to offer that nobody in our generation can. And from another angle, they have needs that others our age do not as much, such as needing a physical hand or a listening ear. We can serve them in unique ways, and they can teach and share in unique ways.

Our culture is continuously replacing people, afraid of thinking at all about mortality. Men and women leave their spouses for someone younger; maybe they just feel bored and want somebody who will serve them better. The celebrities acclaimed last week are now abandoned; as soon as they show any infirmity, they are gone from the public eye. As soon as grandparents have sign of illness, they're transported away from family, to be forgotten in long-term care.

If our culture continues to hide away those who may be our greatest asset, we will surely see the effects.

The Church must be different. We are not called to "Love your brother--until he needs a hip replacement." We are to be there, nurturing, filling in the gaps that they can no longer take care of. I know that I need to grow in this area. I know of many needs that could be taken care of, whether visiting people in nursing facilities, spending time helping people with their homes, or just being there to listen. There is so much opportunity to serve. We need to look around and get to know those who own the wrinkles.

Growing Up Churched

2006-06-29T23:12:00.000-07:00

Last night at small group, Mrs. Bone talked with us about how easy it is to grow up in the church, get good teaching, even read the Bible, and not really apply or think about all that you "know." It was so cool that she brought it up, because a couple of days before, Mom and I were reading in Isaiah and something stuck out at me. I'd meant to blog about it earlier, but now I definitely feel like it!

In Isaiah 29:13-14, Isaiah writes:

"Then the Lord said, 'Because this people draw near with their words and honor Me with their lip service, but they remove their hearts far from Me, and their reverence for Me consists of tradition learned by rote, (v.14) therefore behold, I will once again deal marvelously with this people, wondrously marvelous; and the wisdom of their wise men will perish, and the discernment of their discerning men will be concealed."

It led me to think of the dangers of worshipping God, praying, etc. in outward obedience with no heart intention/inclination toward Him. The abundant familiarity with the things of God can be either a tremendous blessing or a tremendous hazard, depending on how it is put to use.

Verse 14, along with verses 11-12, reminded me of a blog Pastor Sean wrote about the study of God's Word. We take for granted, I think (at least, I know that I do), the opportunity to study the very Word of God. It has not always been so easy or possible to pay attention and search the Word as it is now, nor can we be sure that it will always be! This challenged me again in my thinking--how shall I then live? Will I waste my time and opportunity to learn & love more about God? Or will I use each day to make much of Him, growing and learning how to love Him more?

TrueU

2006-06-26T14:17:00.000-07:00

The other day, I stumbled upon an amazing website. Now I haven't navigated the whole thing, so I don't want any nasty letters saying I endorsed something bad, but it really looks good. I found a couple of articles that I thought about discussing in separate blogs, but I think I'll just post about here.

I only scanned this article, but it made me laugh and think. I don't know if they'd want me quoting it, so although I desperately want to, I'll simply play it safe and describe it here. The article focused on relationships and finding value in God, not in others.

This article talks about appearance and how we need to think through where our beauty lies. I've thought about this before, and it's really an interesting topic. It ties in a bit with Pastor Zimmer's messages at evening service. (For those of you who don't get to hear these, he has been going through 1 Timothy and is now in chapter 2, verses 9-15. Good teaching!) I recommend this article--very thought provoking.

I just wanted to share all this with you and recommend that you explore the website, as I know I will be doing. It seems to be filled with some gems.

Our Gorgeous Garden

2006-06-23T18:28:00.000-07:00

We just came in for an ice water break (also possible to read that as "a nice water break") after tending our little spot of earth again. Anyway, it is such fun to get things done in the garden, whether it's finding more compost to use, planting a wide variety of lettuces, fertilizing the vegetables that are already growing, or picking about 5 pounds of strawberries--you heard right, we're going to have very local berries tonight! Yes!!!

Mom and I are taking advantage of the beautiful sunshine, and enjoying the prospects of glorious sun all through Tuesday, at least! The pepper plants ought to enjoy it too.

I LOVE gardening!

Pilates Pain, Painted Palms

2006-06-20T20:46:00.000-07:00

I've been keeping pretty busy lately, even though I don't have to keep up with schoolwork right now. The break from studying is very welcome, and I've found many things to take up the extra time, many of which I had put off because of pressing schoolwork.

I picked up some Pilates videos at a garage sale a couple of weeks ago, and so a few days ago, I decided to try them out. I went downstairs, and put the first tape in. Dad decided to come down and get some exercise, too. It didn't take too long of seeing me rolling like a ball for him to decide to mow the lawn instead. I think it made him nervous. But I've been enjoying it, for the most part. The thing that I've had to get used to is pain when I laugh. Pilates requires a lot of control from your core, and I've been feeling the effects whenever someone says anything funny.

I rejoined the church choir, which made me very happy. I really love the wonderful people in choir. They truly are a fantastic bunch of people. And I enjoy the great songs Pastor Williams picks out for us. I'm looking forward to getting more in tune again. After a while of letting my vocal chords go, I'm a bit rusty.

Mom and I have made it a goal this summer to fix up the house in whatever ways we can. Today we primed the bathroom that Tim and I share. It needed it--the previous owner was, well, a bit decorating-challenged. This bathroom was all seafoam green with fishy wallpaper on the lower half of one wall. Yeah, it was pretty cheesy. And I don't really know what she used to fasten the wallpaper to the wall, but I suspect that she may have used Dentyne. It was so hard to get the backside of the wallpaper off! I ripped up my thumbnails trying to scrape it. It was the only thing that worked. Even the ceiling was painted crazy seafoam. I spent a good amount of time on a stepladder, reaching above my head trying to roll primer on the ceiling. Anyway, now I'm covered in primer. My hands are definitely not modeling material. I'm never going to do that to a house, if/when I am a homeowner. Death to fishy wallpaper!

Graduation Contemplation

2006-06-16T23:34:00.000-07:00

Editor's Note: this is my 50th post ever! (Not counting the last one, simply because, well, it doesn't count.)

One of my small group leaders asked me to prepare some things to share with our small group Sunday morning before last; just advice and things I've learned in my meager 18. I thought I'd share them here with you.

1) Make God Your Priority and Keep Him There! Hold your time with Him in unparalleled importance. Let your quiet times be truly quiet-- just you and God together. It is amazing what can get lost in noise. A thriving relationship with God is the most valuable thing you could ever have. He will be there to help you in times that:

you're tempted to compromise
you're needing counsel, or
you just don't feel like things are working out.

Have His perspective on life--He will see you through--even through High School! :)

2) Love! Don't let this one go. Sometimes, love is lacking and we don't even realize it. One way is to love your parents, and go to them for advice. There is a reason that God gave you parents! Going to them and seeking their wisdom is one way to really honor them. Another way to love is by including and getting to know those outside your usual circle of friends. What an awesome thing a new friend can be, for both people involved!

3) Be Pure! Be careful about what you let into your heart and mind. Ask your parents to look into movies you want to watch. (Here are some great websites from Christian perspective: Christianity Today Movies "Film Forum"; Christian Answers' "Spotlight on Entertainment"; Focus on the Family "Plugged In"; Jesus Freak Hideout; and one that is secular but that can outline the general plot is Internet Movie Database.) Try to have girls as your best friends, ladies. Like Pastor Sean says, you wouldn't want your future husband to be best friends with another girl. Dont do that to other girls. Leave the guys to make friends with each other. (In my own life, I've had some situations where if I hadn't erred on the side of caution, it would've been bad.)

4) Be Salt and Light! There are so many ways you can fulfill the Great Commission, just in Marysville.

Pray for unbelievers, whether friends, relatives, neighbors, co-workers, etc.
Be a light - have integrity with your unbelieving friends. They won't see God in you if you look exactly like they do.
Serve in the evangelistic opportunities you're given. Backyard Bible Club, World's for Sale, handing out invitations for church concerts, and diligence at work are all great ways to show God off to the community. Your work ethic and attitude are a huge witness--good or bad--to unbelievers.

5) Reach Out! Get to know people who are older and younger than you are. There are some absolutely incredible people outside our age group! Kids are awesome to work with. AWANA, Childrens Ministry, and the Nursery are great ministry opportunities. Older people can share so much wisdom, and they can be so much fun to get to know! Life can be very blessed by just having a wide variety of friends.

I'll Post Soon!

2006-06-11T20:56:00.000-07:00

I know it's been forever since I last posted, and I want to thank you all for your faithful reading. I know it's irritating to check blogs frequently and not find anything new, but I promise I will post soon. I have something in the works, I just need more energy before I post. Be back soon!

Just Don't Call Me Late for Dinner!

2006-05-23T19:59:00.000-07:00

Tonight, my brother (jokingly) said, "Where are you, ya jerk?" when he was looking for me amid a tickle fight. Mom said, "Don't call her a jerk!" He revised his query, "Where are you, ya moron?" Mom told him, "Don't call her a jerk, don't call her a moron, don't call her an idiot, don't call her...(interject me tickling her feet, then the response:) Katie!" I said, "Don't call her Katie?" And she just sighed.

Oh Brother!

2006-05-22T22:37:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd post about my brother. I know it probably won't be the only time I post about him, but there have been a lot of funny weird little things lately that have made me laugh and think about him.

The other day I gave him a haircut, and after a while, I thought, "Wow, he's being so good! It seems like every time I cut his hair, he gets impatient and won't let me finish." So I said something about it, and he started whining about how long it was taking. I should just keep my big mouth shut.

He comes up with the wildest, most random stuff. The other day, he said at random, "I'll be Santa Clause's divorced neice." Odd--especially for a boy who doesn't believe in Santa.

One thing that we share in common is our strong dislike of the pug dog across the street. Ha! I almost typed "bug dog." Anyway. This neighbor black pug dog looks like a bat with legs, and he's often the subject of ribbing in our home. The ultimate insult Tim can come up with is to compare me to a pug. This pug dog is so vile. He has come up to Tim and done dishonorable things on one of his shoes. When he's nearby, you can hear him snorting and grunting and huffing and puffing. I like most dogs, but I always run when I see Buddy coming. And the thing keeps getting fatter and fatter. Oftentimes, I'll be studying in the living room and look out the front window, and be greeted by the unpleasant sight of Buddy in his fat Buddha pose, settled in a blob on the neighbors' driveway.

Um... back to Tim. He loves to dress up in costumes that he's made from household items. Once he was in his bathrobe, boots, and police helmet with his play shotgun over his shoulder, pacing in front of the house, keeping guard. One of his favorite split-personalities includes a horrendous pirate wig that used to look a little less horrendous. He loves to pair this with his very classy rotty-teeth that he recently acquired. One of his biggest costume-fans is the man next door (married to Stacia, one of my newest links) who moonlights as a clown. Tim loves to show off his latest fine attire when the neighbor is around. Today it was a cowboy hat, sunglasses, plaid shirt, bandanna, leather jacket, jeans, a belt, a couple of holsters, and he asked if we could buy some cowboy boots. He also requested beans and hot dogs for lunch.

Yarn Rocks

2006-05-19T23:45:00.000-07:00

So today, Mom, Tim, and I went to a neighborhood garage sale. I cannot believe how every time we go for a big bunch of bargain hunting, there happens to be a pattern or theme to our finds by the end of the day. For me today, it was crafts. Odd, because for the longest time I'd gone through sort of a craft-drought. Nevertheless, lately, I've pulled out my cross-stitch that I was too impatient for at age 10, learned to crochet (thank you, Barbara!), and have been making cards more faithfully. I think it stems somewhat from Snow Retreat, oddly enough, or more specifically from Jonathan Edwards. "What?!" you ask, taken aback to find that Edwards could possibly be linked to crocheting. Allow me to explain.

Reading over the Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards, I was convicted in numerous ways by many of them, but I was very practically, if somewhat strangely, struck by his resolution not to waste his time, but to "improve every moment." I've always felt SO guilty when I'm sitting and watching tv, because I'm making myself more sedentary and not getting even one productive thing done. So I've always wanted to crochet or cross-stitch or something while I'm watching tv or sitting around for a forced amount of time (I hate it when I'm sick or something and am stuck sitting but don't have mental energy to focus!).

Anyway, what I got today was amazing:

Six wonderful rubber stamps and one four-stamp set. Cost: $15. I totaled up retail prices based on the price tags (most were never even used!), and they would have been about $90. Crazy.

An armload and a half of lovely colored yarn that I kept trying to carry as one armload--never works! :) Cost: $1 (The other day we stopped by another sale, and they were tired and closing up. They told us everything was free, so I scooped up a bag of pretty yarn there--no cost. Unbelievable.) If you crochet or knit, you know that yarn normally costs a few bucks per skein. Oh, and last weekend I found a bunch of knitting needles (I still have yet to learn to knit, but I intend to!) and crochet hooks that the lady let me take for a dollar, too.

7 tubes of Cross-stitch aida cloth and embroidery hoop for $4. It would cost $3 normally just to buy one tube!

5 (Brand-new, of course. Otherwise it would be gross!) Mary Kay Makeup items--I needed this stuff anyway, and it's better than the brand I usually buy. Cost: $12.75. Retail: $52--I looked on their website.

1 new beige jumper: $2.

1 pair of brand-new flip flops: $1--I'd been meaning to go to Target and get some anyway!

Sleeveless blouse: 50 cents.

1 Health Magazine: 25 cents. The retail price: $3.50.

All of which, with sales tax would, at retail price, add up to: $302! My grand total: $37.50.

How do I love garage sales? Let me count the ways...

Lullabies for Dummies

2006-05-19T20:46:00.000-07:00

Preface: I wrote & tried to publish this last night, but apparently Blogger was having a temper tantrum. So I think it's fair to say that this continues my blogging streak. Hey, it wasn't my fault! :)

I am listening currently, oddly enough, to a lullaby cd. I actually really enjoy this cd and would highly recommend it: " The McCaughey Septuplets: Sweet Dreams." I've gotten a worried baby to sleep while babysitting via this cd, I've been calmed by it, and I've heard others say how good it is. All that to say, I truly think it's one of the best compilation cds I've ever heard. Very strange, I know. Just try it sometime. The library must have it. And I don't often recommend buying whole cds, but hey, if you're in the market, well... this one is worth it.

But anyway, that's not exactly why I posted. Listening to the cd, I realized just how little grown-ups sing and speak of the peace that God brings. Of course, there are two wonderful examples of ladies encouraging me in just such a way in the comments of my previous post. So maybe it's just that I sing and speak of it little. When a baby is worried, assuring them is the first thing that comes to mind. But really, it's the best balm we can offer anyone, no matter the age. Whether God's control in salvation, in protection, in providence, or anything else, He is wholly dependable--totally faithful in all circumstances. It just shows how foolish I am, to forget how necessary and valuable a good "lullaby" can be--maybe not a real lullaby, but a soothing word, comforting verse, or even a hug.

By far, my favorite song on the cd sums up all of this: "Tis So Sweet." (Sidenote: it's sung by both the parents of the Septuplets--they really do an outstanding job. And it carries a lot of weight with all they've been through!) I thought I'd just share this rendition's great lyrics with you:

"’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
Just to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!

I’m so glad I learned to trust Him,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that He is with me,
Will be with me to the end.

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!"

Two verses not included on this track:

"Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace."

How true.

Decisions, Decisions...

2006-05-17T00:12:00.000-07:00

I wanted to update a little on what's going on with my life, because there have been more than a few things going on lately.

Yesterday I turned in two applications for summer jobs. We've been preparing little by little for my graduation (coming up soon!), and it's amazing all the details that require attention. I've been trying hard to wind up all my studies, and it's going pretty well. I'm enjoying them a bit more than I was, although there's also that little neon sign in the back of my mind flashing the message, "Almost Done!" which gets a little distracting at times.

And I'm pretty sure that I'm going to stay home this coming school year and get my pre-reqs done at community college, work, and take some CLEP tests. Then I would like to go to Masters. I just think it would be wisest to take the first year easy.

So there you have it, a run down on a few of the many decisions and changes going on in my life. Have you ever felt that you have to decide your whole life NOW?

Pointless or Purposed?

2006-05-16T23:55:00.000-07:00

Well, this continues my posting streak. I'm gonna see how long I can keep it going! :) But honestly, I've had so many things on my mind that I've started keeping a notebook of future blog topics, because I haven't been able to keep up.

At the women's retreat, in discussion time, I shared that this was the perfect year for Pastor Sean to be going through Ecclesiastes (at least, the perfect year from my point of view). I've been working in so many that seem to have no point at all. The majority of my studies this year are required to get into college but don't seem to have much bearing on my everyday life. Maybe they will, but I don't see it. And I remember clearly working through this feeling while I was studying for my SAT. I thought, "This has no visible impact whatsoever! It doesn't seem like this benefits life in any way." I ended up taking the SAT three times, studying like a maniac each time. The third time I took it because I only needed to increase my score by ten points to be eligible for a jump in scholarships at Master's. (I was fully eligible for one, but the next bracket would be an extra $1500 a year.) And then came the ACT. I'm not even sure why I took the ACT, looking back, except that I hadn't received my third SAT score by the time I had to register for the ACT, and Master's will take the equivalent ACT score. So really, looking back, taking that was kind of funny. It was yet another "Why am I doing this?" situation. And then came the end of the year test, which is basically a formality. I have to take it to be lawful as a homeschooler in our state. But man, I'd taken my other tests, I knew where I was at, and all I was happy with it. And the only thing that seems purposeful normally in taking it, other than being a law-abiding citizen, is that you can tailor next year's curriculum to work on your weak points. But since I won't be tailoring any curriculum from now on, that was a bit of a moot point. So anyway, this year has been filled with all sorts of odd challenges as to whether I trust that God has me where He wants me, and whether I can be content and find joy in that. But I've really learned that lesson now! And I know that it's something you face constantly in life, finding joy in what seems to be pointless, but may be God's purpose for you, at least at that point in your life.

Reasons Series: Garage Sales

2006-05-15T23:16:00.000-07:00

This one is close to my heart--garage sales! I've gotta say, this is an undiscovered gem of a deal. I often come home from garage sales with brands like Tommy Hilfiger, Liz Claiborne, Banana Republic, and J.Crew in excellent condition for under a dollar. And when I talk to people about it, they often sniff and give each other knowing looks. But hey, I'm getting the deal, and they're missing out. At least I've informed them about the hot deals in town! That's how I see it, anyway. It's okay if you disagree, I just have to share my reasons behind one of my favorite ways to get a deal. And hey, this will make 5 posts in 4 days, which, I'm pretty sure will make a personal record. So here are some of my reasons for garage sale shopping:

I don't have to go to the mall--which I hate doing! I hate the high pressure environment and the "sales" that cost literally ten to thirty times the price of what I'd get it for at a garage sale. I only go to the mall if I have to.

I can buy brands I wouldn't normally. I could never buy certain brands in good conscience because they cost so much, and I can't imagine paying so much money on something that will get stained, ripped, faded, etc. Honestly, seeing the price tags can make my stomach hurt. Many of my outfits lately cost me two dollars or less. Crazy.

It is so much fun!!! Some of my favorite times are those that I find something I've been needing for fifty cents. It just makes me laugh and think, "Well, God is just choosing to let me be blessed today!" It can be so cool.

You get a wide variety. I can dress any way I want when I garage sale. At stores, I really can't find a thing that's my style. It is so hard! And yet, at garage sales, I never cease to be amazed at the cute stuff I find.

Somehow, I find more modest stuff at garage sales than elsewhere. I don't know why this is, but it's true. I can't find pants that look good, and fit, and are modest, and don't cost $70 a pair unless I go to garage sales. I don't understand it.

I find the coolest stuff for my room! I got a cute black shelf for my room for a dollar a couple of weeks ago. My bedroom set is really nice and my Mom got it super cheap at a garage sale. Once I get it all set up, I'll have the cheapest cute room! I honestly can't wait.

Oddly enough, you get so much done in so little time! At neighborhood garage sales, especially, you can buy your whole wardrobe for the year in a couple of hours. It is unbelievable what you can accomplish.

This is a weird point, but I've actually had opportunity to share. Just a bit ago, when we were at this sale run by a deaf family, I got to use my rusty sign language skills. They were such sweet people. I handed them the church's "business" card and pointed out the part that said that we have interpretation for the deaf. That really lit up my day.

So keep an eye out for those neon poster-board, sharpie-marked signs, and don't spend that dollar all in one place!

Babysitting

2006-05-14T13:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I babysat a 9 year old boy and his 3 year old sister. We had a great time. Here are a couple of quotes I thought I would share with you:

While playing monopoly, the little girl said,

"I'ne tired. Tan we pway Tandywand?"

And when we were eating dinner, they were talking about how they want to go to Silverwood this summer. The girl said,

"We've never goed to Silverwood."

Her brother's instructive reply made me smile, "No, it's 'We've never went to Silverwood!'"

Sleep Waking

2006-05-13T00:11:00.000-07:00

The other night, my brother kept waking us up with his nightmare-initiated hollering. After one occasion of going downstairs to fetch his sleepwalking-hollering little self, I returned to bed and tried to get to sleep. Another hollering fit. I went down the hall, and found Dad had gotten there first. He asked whether I'd like to calm Tim down, and I replied in a rather cranky tone, " No, I'd actually like to get back to bed." But as I reached down to give Tim a hug, he snuggled into me (a very rare treat), and I knew he'd need someone with him to get back to sleep. So as I lay there, wondering what lesson it could bring me, I thought of how so often, in our terror or helplessness, we will call out to God. And He is right there, ready and willing to work in us. He faithfully comforts us and calms us down until we're back to normal. But the things that terrify us are like fleeting (although sometimes recurring) dreams when it comes to the reality of heaven. We must seem so pitiful with our wails for help in whatever small, though seemingly insurmountable, troubles have come our way. I'm so thankful for God's comfort. I don't know how people survive without it. It must be a nightmare.

Reasons Series: Smoking

2006-05-12T23:36:00.000-07:00

About a week ago, we were watching tv, and a commercial came on about smoking. If I remember right, it was anti-smoking. But I'm not sure--shows how much of an impact it made on me!

Anywhoo. Mom said, "Tim, tell me five things that are bad about smoking." He came up with them really fast, which kind of scared me. I wasn't scared that he knew all that; but it did scare me just to think of how much damage people are doing to themselves. I really ought to become an advocate. If only I had enough celebrity to get people to listen. (Hmm... note to self: become famous.) No, but really, it scared me. My grandmother used to smoke for years, from about age 17 or 18 til she was almost 70. We had a long conversation once about it when we were driving to the beach. I'll never forget how much she regretted ever starting. I'm so proud of her for quitting, though. I had already decided I never even wanted to get close to trying cigarettes, but she has strengthened my resolve. My grandfather, her husband, died of a heart attack at age 41, and he smoked. I know he would tell me never to start.

Mom's assignment for Tim to list those five reasons not to smoke got me thinking. I'm going to start a series of blogs about reasons--reasons to do things, and reasons not to do things. This first one is on reasons not to smoke. These reasons are only things that I can come up with, but I'm sure there are more. And let me preface this: I don't mean this as a condemnation on anyone. I have no idea how extremely hard it must be to quit smoking. I know there is a lot of pressure, especially in my generation, to smoke (whether tobacco or other things). But I wholeheartedly would encourage anyone who smokes to please quit. Quit for any of these reasons or other reasons entirely. Quit because of your grandkids. Quit for the environment. Quit for yourself. But find a cause, try to quit, and keep trying.

Here's my list.

Smoking dramatically increases your risk for all cancers, for heart disease, stroke, asthma, and I'm sure for other things that I didn't think of.

Secondhand smoke kills. If you think it doesn't affect others, all I can say is piffle. For more information, visit Secondhand Smokes You.

Smoking is bad for the environment in so many ways.

Cigarettes have so many carcinogens in them, it's unfunny.

Cigarette smoke stinks. It makes your breath smell bad. It makes everything smell bad. People notice.

Related to that last one, smoking is offensive to others. It will decrease your home's potential resale value, as well as that of your car.

You're at higher risk for a house fire, forest fire, etc., when you smoke. Yeah, actually, even lighting a fire right in front of my face would scare me. But people do it many times a day.

Cigarette injuries and burns are not pleasant. That's all I have to say about that.

Smoking darkens your teeth and your fingernails. Not to mention your lungs.

Smoking is crazy expensive! I don't know how people make it actually. I really don't. It is so pricy. If you smoke, just humor me and calculate how much you must spend per year on cigarettes. Yes, it is that much. Add onto that the increased cost of all types of insurance. Every type.

It really has to be hard to find ashtrays every time you want to smoke. I just can't really imagine that.

My mom has a great story on this point. Since both her parents smoked, she was fairly used to it being a part of life. When she was about 15, she tried to clean their globe. She wondered if it was supposed to be that color. She used 409. It went from a brown tinge to showing blue ocean. She was amazed. That kind of pertains to the environment point, too. But it really shows what happens to all the family's belongings.

So there you have it. Stop if you smoke. And never start if you don't.

On the Scholarship Front

2006-05-12T22:58:00.000-07:00

I heard back recently on one of the twenty-some scholarships I applied to, and I'll be going to a Marysville Rotary awards lunch on the 24th. I'm so happy! It's the only one I've won (as of yet, anyway), so it was encouraging to get some news.

I'm going to apply for a summer job pretty soon, and hopefully I'll be able to land something good. Anyway, the Lord keeps showing me He is faithful and has a plan--a plan much better than I can know, because He came up with it! All the changes do keep my head spinning, though!

Bitterness to Joy

2006-05-07T23:49:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to write a post about an experience I had a couple of years ago that really made me think. One morning, I woke up completely bitter and full of sorrow. And I mean completely. And as I sleepily thought about why I felt that way, I realized that I'd had the most horribly jarring dream that I can imagine. I had dreamt that in some way, God had broken one of His promises or something, and let us down. That He had changed from perfect, unchanging, immutable, and become like us. And it was the most awful, sickening feeling I've ever had in my life, because if God were other than He is, in any way, we would be lost. Truly lost! And, as I've heard it said, if He were to break even one of His promises, He would not be God.

I've never forgotten that morning, and the vivid feelings that woke me up that day. My bitterness turned to joy and praise, as I realized that that nightmare will never come true. Our God will never let us down. And He has always been faithful in situation after situation, in promise after promise. No matter how unfaithful man is, God is always faithful to His perfect character. What an incredible assurance that is!

Is My Thumb Turning Green?

2006-05-06T18:40:00.000-07:00

Over the last month or so, oddly enough, a love of gardening has welled up in me where before, there was none. I credit God with this change, however bizarre it may seem, because it is quite the change. And I credit Mom for stirring and motivating this love. She's quite the gardener; when I was little, she tried to get me involved. However, I wasn't too cooperative. The only part I played was patting the flowers on top once she had planted them.

I'm now extremely the other way. The other day, Mom and I were planting some raspberries and marionberries, and needed to get compost out of the compost container to help them grow. In the compost container, red worms turn our compostable materials into, well, dirt. But when you take the compost out, the red worms die if they don't have things to compost. So we would take a shovel full of dirt and pick out all the worms, throw them back in the compost container, and use the dirt. Something Mom said jarred me into realizing just how much of a change had taken place in me. She said, "Wow. Only true gardeners will plunge their hands into compost and pick out worms." And I hadn't thought much about it, but she was right. God has made me enjoy the process of gardening, even though the ground is cursed and requires so much work to improve it.

We are planting a vegetable garden, and Mr. Palmer brought a load of dirt out. I was so excited, I was clapping when he unloaded the dirt. And we've been working hard to shovel wheelbarrows full, wheel them out back to the raised bed, unload them there, and rake it smooth. There's still a mega-mound of dirt out there in our driveway, but we've made a huge dent in it already.

This morning, we went to a ceremony honoring some of the old homes in Everett. Our old house was chosen as an improved and upkept home to be honored in the ceremony, and we got a call yesterday informing us that it was chosen. Normally, they choose to honor the current homeowner, but she told them that my parents were the ones who made all the improvements. (We had lived there 17 years and put lots of blood, sweat, tears and money into that house. It will be 99 years old this year.) So they contacted us and invited us to come. It was so cool to see pictures of so many beautiful old houses, and hear the homeowners' stories of renovation and histories of the homes. I love old architecture, so it really was a treat. Anyway, it just made me realize how much diligence it takes to own a home and be a good steward of it.

It all makes me realize that God will grow me up. I get concerned because I'm so undisciplined, and I lack so many skills that I want right now. But in His time, He will change me and make me who He wants me to be. I never dreamt I would become a gardener, although I'd always hoped to be one! And now, He has created a dramatic change in me, in that area, at least. It just makes me amazed at how he refines us, even in the weird areas like gardening. And I don't say all this to sound proud or anything. Make no mistake, if it had been up to me, obviously there never would've been a change. That's exactly what I'm trying to say. He can change anything or anyone. He turns me from a flower-patter to a worm-picking, dirt-shoveling girl.